Stalkers / cyberstalkers look for this criteria in their victim. So, here are some ways to stop attracting them and have confidence in your day-to-day life, without fear.
Are you attracting stalkers? Either in your physical world, or online, or a mix of both? If so, we’re going to discuss the reasons why, and what you can do to stop it, or at the very least, lessen it.
Stalkers are people who follow and monitor every action you make. Cyberstalkers are similar, but do so online. Generally stalkers can be cyberstalkers and will find things about you from what you post online. Additionally, cyberstalkers who do not live in your vicinity, will have no problem posting your personal info for everyone to see online.
These people are very real threats, and while the vast amount of stalkers are men who prey on women, or worse, children, there certainly are stalkers who are female. It can happen to anyone, but there are specific criteria that stalkers look for. Most of these apply to men who are stalking women.
One is that they see someone they are extremely attracted to. To them, it’s a gorgeous woman they want to follow around, and may even have fantasies of, and may even want to engage in non-consensual acts with them. They may also see someone who is vulnerable and want to take advantage of that in any way they can, even pretending to be a nice, helpful person, but then follow your car home, and/or create fake accounts online to belittle and harass you, then another account to praise you.
Additionally, ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriends can become stalkers, primarily if you broke up with them. They may still be in love with you, and are jealous of the new partner you have, and are unable to move on as you consume their every thought and desire. If the stalker is a woman, it’s possible they are harassing the woman that her man cheated on, or even want revenge on the man that cheated on her.
Some people attract stalkers easier due to the fact that they seem vulnerable, largely due to past trauma. They may also appear too trusting, friendly, and want to please people, so others take advantage of them and they are completely unaware. This is the foundation to work on if you do not want to attract stalkers. Women especially need to work on this as it is men who take advantage of them more frequently.
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Due to events in your past, you may fear that everyone is out to get you, causing you to become paranoid. This will attract stalkers. Or, maybe you had a childhood where others abandoned you, so you cling onto every person you see, being as nice as possible to the point that you lose your sense of self. This will attract stalkers. Or maybe you’re an open book, telling everyone your business, where you’re going, what you’re doing, even making it all publicly available on social media. This will attract stalkers. So, stopping stalkers is about addressing these key issues.
If you’re fearful of everyone around you, then you have to work on your confidence because stalkers can spot someone who lacks confidence and will exploit that. Additionally, if you put on a persona of someone that you’re not to make friends, then you’re attracting the wrong people who are not on the same wavelength as you. This may seem like you’re avoiding stalkers, and maybe you are to a degree, but generally the persona you put on actually attracts stalkers since they can sense that something is incongruent with this person.
When you’re out in public, have confidence and know you’ll get people’s attention, especially if you’re attractive. But, be cautious of your surroundings and the people you’re associating with, especially if you don’t know them. Be prepared as well, such as knowing self-defense moves, and self-defense weapons on you while in risky situations. Be mindful who is looking over your shoulder when you pull your phone out since a stalker will look at names of your friends and other media to find out who you are. Also be careful when giving your number out. Someone else may over hear it and pretend to be the person you were intending it for. It may even be wise to have a burner number to give out to new people to prevent anyone from looking up your info from your real number.
Keep your social media on lockdown. Make it private so only people who are your friends can see it, and only accept friend requests from people you know and can trust. Make sure your profile doesn’t appear in search results, either by name, email, or number. And make sure your friend’s list is not public, and hide it entirely from people you’re not close with.
Some of these same principles apply to cyberstalkers as well. But, there are additional things to be mindful of. When there are multiple fake accounts of someone trying to get attention, don’t acknowledge them at all. Ignore their comments and don’t engage with them. They want a reaction, so don’t give it to them. Blocking them may also make it worse since they will be inclined to harass you more. Rather, if they’re posting vile, hateful things, or your personal info, report them and don’t engage with them since engagement will validate that the info they are posting about you is accurate.
You shouldn’t allow stalkers to stop you from going out and doing the things you love. It may seem scary, but when you have confidence, and take precautions, then you’ll be able to eliminate, or at the very least, lessen, the amount of creeps that are in your life. Don’t engage with the online stalkers and trolls, and defend yourself against the ones in person. You are not to be messed with, so have confidence and the attitude of, “No one will mess with me, or else.” Then you can go about what you love, meeting new people, and being mindful of shady ones.
Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!
There have been creeps in my life ever since I became a female. There have not been much of any in person, but online has been a different story. There have been people who create a bunch of fake accounts, contact my friends, claim to know where I live, claim to know my old name, etc. Once I recognize the signs of the stalker, I avoid as much contact as I possibly can from them since they are not worth my time. They lose all chance of a friendly conversation by being a creep. They literally have nothing better to do with their lives? How about get a job, get a hobby, go out and make some friends, but stop spending all your time harassing someone you don’t even know, and will never know.