Will I Be Single for Life?
Summary: This is the true reason why I will never be in a relationship and be single for life...or will I?
Ok guys, look, as much as I try to act like I’m the hottest thing around, I have a confession. I am single for life cuz why wouldn’t I be. I don’t like people, despite pretending I do. Geez, there are so many silly people out there. Ok, being serious now, the reason why I am single for life is because no one is as good as me. I am like the perfect angel and everyone else is just bleh. To see me with one of them imperfect souls is a disgrace to me as a person. So, that’s the real reason why you guys. Bye!
Back to reality now, and on a serious note. That was a joke, and I hope you realized it was a joke since some people seem to have no sense of humor these days. I did want to talk about relationship troubles I’ve had in the past and perhaps my experiences will help anyone else dealing with problems in their life. The reason why I was single for so long was because I had a hard time connecting with people. And had an even harder time trusting them. Once I finally did have a relationship, the trust issues remained. Even after that broke off, I realized that my trust issues, while they have improved since when I was a teenager and in my early twenties, are still there, causing problems. They are paranoid delusions that are related to my mental health diagnosis. It’s hard to say if it’ll ever go away, but it does hinder my life in many ways.
For the most part, I don’t let mental health issues control my life, or rather I should say that my mental health has dramatically improved since the past. But, the paranoid delusions of people colluding together to harm me, are still there. The difference now is that I am aware that it’s a delusion. Because I am aware, it has less control over me, but it still hinders my actions. While I can trust people now, it’s hard for me to not have an idea in my head that there is something they are hiding and are part of a greater cabal of people to harm me in some way. That may sound absurd, and saying it makes me realize it’s absurd. But, these are very real thoughts that affect my life and hinder it.
So, to anyone else out there struggling with these issues, realize that in time things do get better. I am far better than I was a decade ago, and I’m sure in more time I will be even better. Life is about learning and having fun, so stop allowing your thoughts to control your life or you could miss out on important opportunities to help you grow even more. Stop overthinking everything to such a degree that you prevent yourself from going with the flow and having fun. Live life the way it was meant to be lived, and let go and have fun. I sure am learning this and have a lot of work to go.
Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!
Additional Info
I realized just in 2022 that I was letting my thoughts control my life. I was overthinking instead of going with the flow, which was destroying my life. I realize I have a lot to work on, so I will keep doing my best and letting go of resistance to live freely.
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