Q&A 15 + Weird Messages (November, 2015 – December, 2015)

Questions and answers (November, 2015 - December, 2015).

Table of Contents

Hi everyone, I thought I’d answer some more of your questions and read back weird messages. Be sure to check the description to go to specific questions if needed.


Q: What do you envision yourself doing in the future?

A: I have a lot of plans. For now I am continuing with the videos here on YouTube, but I do want to take it to a much greater level. Perhaps travel around and help people personally, give seminars, and educate others so they can help themselves. Many years back I had a desire to start a business, which I did in a sense, but I have much better ideas for that now which I can see as a success. Music is also very important to me so maybe doing something with that.

Q: What is your nationality/ethnic background?

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A: I had to ask my grandmother since I don’t really know. Supposedly I have some Italian, Irish, and German. Don’t know where or how since I didn’t ask those questions, but big whoop right? Who cares? It’s not important to me.

Q: Have you ever bitten your nails?

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A: I have never been a nail biter. What I do is I trim them periodically. You know what I trim them with? Scissors.

Q: Have you ever considered doing stand up comedy?

A: Not really, but I definitely have some comedy elements in me. I don’t think I would be good at telling the stories and doing the jokes for a long period of time. I’m better at well thought out short skits that take time.

Q: Would u ever consider writing a book?

A: Maybe at one point, but not anytime in the near future. It would mostly be a self-help book to help one overcome their problems, perhaps even mixed in with my own personal experience as well.

Q: Have you ever read or watched “Harry Potter?”

A: I’ve never been a fan of ‘Harry Potter.’ Many years ago I believe I read the first book and watched the first movie when it first came out in theaters, but that’s it.

Q: have you ever been in a long distance relationship and if so did you like it? or did you get lonely

A: The person I was interested in lived about eight hours away from me, so I guess you could call that long distance. I personally didn’t have a problem with it since we video chatted and talked regularly. We even wanted to plan meeting up after the first two visits, and while it never happened, I don’t feel as though I was lonely during it. I don’t ever feel lonely anymore since I feel fulfilled with my life and someone else will not make me happy, but will enhance that happiness and enjoyment.

Q: i had nightmare that seems strangely real. my friend thinks it’s from past life. is this possible? after so i’ve had urges to harm people, but i dont want to. this is kind of scaring me. advice?

A: If you are having feelings of harming others and you are having nightmares about it, that definitely is a sign that it’s on your mind. As far as past lives goes, it certainly could be a possibility that you are highly sensitive and being influenced by these nightmares of what you did, or even experienced, during a past life. Whatever the case is, you will need to understand the reasons for why you feel this urge. Yes it may be scary, but ultimately there is a reason you are feeling this way that only you can uncover. When you have that knowledge, you can begin to work at rationalizing those thoughts so they don’t seem scary to you.

Q: Does it/has it happened that you were recording a YT video and one of your other personalities have taken over and you had to do it over due to what they said or did?

A: I have felt in a way when I am recording that I go into autopilot in a sense. Like, there have been times I am doing a video and reading the script and in the back of my mind am looking at myself, observing myself, and talking in my head while my body is reading the script, which would really not be possible if I was concentrating on reading. There have been other times where I do feel I have changed in the middle of the video, but that was mostly early on during like the first year of making videos. Since I’ve progressed, I do not experience the latter anymore.

Q: i think i have multiple personalities.. but i dont know if i am faking or if it is real. and i never got diagnosis..

A: The one thing to realize if you ever feel you are dealing with something that is fake is to understand that no matter what is going on, it’s not fake. Even if you were to deliberately fake a problem you are having, there is still something very real going on. So, my theory is to focus less on whether or not something is real, and focus more on how you can cope with the problems and overcome them.

Q: Looking at myself on the mirror deeply depresses me. I can’t accept my image. It’s somewhat ok to live like this until I leave home and feel uneasy by the slightest glance of someone. What can I do?

A: I think many of us deal with this sort of thing, where we feel insecure about our own image. One of the most beneficial things to do is to learn to be comfortable with the image in the mirror. How you can go about this is to begin to see the things you like about yourself. When you look at yourself, you instantly jump to something negative you do not like, but by seeing what you do like and building upon that, you will start to see a difference with how you feel about yourself. If physically looking at yourself is too difficult, try mentally. This is what I did. I closed my eyes and I saw myself in front of me and began to see the positive of what I liked about myself. Perhaps do this in front of a real mirror while your eyes are closed so when you open them, you retain that positive self-image. This can help greatly given time and patience.

Q: I realize many times a day that I do no exist. I’m just watching everything happen. Its very scary + confusing Is there a real name for this and have you ever felt this before?

A: I’ve certainly felt that I do not exist. But, does it matter? The problem here is how it’s making you feel, which is scared and confused. We all have different ideas about our life and things we believe in. So, when you feel you do not exist, that is verification that you do in fact exist. And, you can remind yourself of this to feel better about the situation when it’s happening.

Q: I never had a real relationship whenever I have sex with someone tho I feel nothing do you think it’s because of my past sexual abuse history I endure as a teen or am I just not really into guys

A: It could very well be either, or none of these problems. You may not be interested in men, but you may also have some subconscious fear of your past coming back when being sexual with a man. Truly think about your life and how you are feeling and get to the bottom of this. There is a reason you feel the way you do and you can figure out what it is to help yourself have confidence when engaging in sexual activities.

Q: My sexual instinct and desires are definitely awake, and I have no shame of them. But why do I feel like I will get scared when I try to do it with someone (no sexual abuse has happened, btw)?

A: Since there is no abuse or shame, then there must be another reason why you are not comfortable with expressing your sexuality with someone else. Perhaps it has something to do with your own body image, of thinking someone else will dislike you if you try to be sexual with them. Also, if you’ve never experienced any sexual connection with another person, it’s only natural to feel a sense of being scared since it’s your first time. You may be able to express it, but you might not necessarily be comfortable with another person at first, or have body image issues.

Q: Is it normal to feel paranoid only at certain times or in certain locations because I have times when I’m super paranoid and times when I’m fine as far as being paranoid and trusting people?!

A: Absolutely, especially if there are negative memories associated with how you are feeling. Perhaps a specific place and time of day subconsciously brings back something that happened in your life that made you anxious and unable to trust another person, perhaps someone betraying you. If you can get to the bottom why you feel this way at those times and pinpoint it to something from your past, it can make a lot of sense and allow you to work on it.

Q: I saw my son masturbating wearing his mom’s clothes accidentally. Is he a transgender.

A: This does not exclusively define a transgender person. While it could be possible that your son is part of the transgender spectrum, in that they possibly could be a transsexual, transvestite, or perhaps even a gay person, he may also be none of these and it could be related to something else entirely. Only you can raise your son and I cannot tell you what to do about this, but certainly prepare yourself and perhaps talk about this with an open mind, and when he would be ready.

Q: I came out to my family as ace but I worry maybe I did it too early. I keep doubting it and am unsure if I was wrong to identify as ace or if it’s just denial?

A: The thing is, this sort of thing can change. Perhaps you feel it was too early or didn’t fit you, and you could possibly be correct with this, but it doesn’t mean you are in denial. Identify as whatever you feel you are, and if you are still trying to figure things out, or it changes, it’s completely fine.

Q: How do you deal with the fact that you can not bare children being trans?

A: It personally doesn’t effect me since I do not want kids. However, I can certainly see how difficult it can be for those that want genetic children. While adoption is always an option, having genetic children, or actually birthing a baby, is not possible for a male to female trans person. The only way to have genetic children when you are trans is often before you even begin to take hormones and if you are a with someone that was born as the same sex you identify as.

Q: Have you ever taken any kind of hormone pills?

A: Yes, I take these estradiol pills daily, sublingually, or under the tongue. I’ve been taking these since September of 2011.

Q: Are you committed to any cause besides LGBT and mental health related issues ? What do you think about environmental issues, animal rights,human rights,politics etc…

A: Well, I’ll say that I am not an activist in any of these areas, and do not wish to be. I’m not here to change anything directly myself, but to help and educate others to be able to help themselves so they can change the world around them. That is my primary goal, to teach how one can love themselves and overcome their problems.

With that being said, with these issues I believe that all these areas are important. I don’t believe we will necessarily all have equal rights since we all judge one another, and with judgement by the elite, comes laws that make it more difficult for legal equality. LGBT people are certainly being treated more fairly and equally as time progresses, but those with mental disorders are often misunderstood and shamed into not discussing their problems. That’s my biggest focus so one can feel comfortable with themselves. With environmental issues, I believe we should do our part to recycle, to take care of our planet by putting less toxins into the air and soil, which ultimately affects every living life form on the planet since we may eat food that is contaminated by pollution. Animal rights, that’s getting into an area that is a bit harder to talk about for some people since animals cannot verbalize and express themselves the way we humans do, which many people may take advantage of this and abuse animals as a result. Human rights tie into what I said about LGBT and mental health, but also includes those of different races, sexes, and whatever else that makes one be treated less than that of others. As for politics, well what can I say but who are politicians? Many are human beings that are narcissistic liars that are only in it for personal and big business monetary gain. That is where the biggest inequality of all lies since they are at the top and if they have money, they will do whatever they want, including every illegal activity in the book, and the law will not be after them. Money and greed that the elite have, include big corporations, are behind all these issues when you dig down deep enough.

Weird Messages

Weird message time. The first is:
WM: You dont have the tranny shoulders for some reason

A: Tranny shoulders? What the heck are tranny shoulders?

WM: Fairies Wear Boots.

A: Yes. Yes they do.

WM: Marilyn Mansons son

A: Uh, I think you mean Marilyn Manson.

WM: Oh my god white people are so extra I s2g

A: Huh?

WM: Yeah, well, I have Massive Whale Cock Disorder

A: So do I. I’ve never known anyone to have the same problem.

WM: I was watching Killer 7 gameplay videos, how the hell did I end up here?

WM: I was looking for the dolphins and then this creepy woman turned up..

A: Can’t you see? I am a dolphin. Autumn Dolphodel.

WM: well she definitely had alien hand syndrome while putting on make up this morning…

A: I am an alien too. An alien dolphin from planet Ocean-ESA.

WM: Switched to pornhub when my dad walked in, easier to explain….

WM: WTF!! you look scarry!!
If you have BPD and look like that, than the devil is nothing compared to you, destroyer of lives!!

WM: I would bang every one of em…they look like sisters.

WM: I bet she takes it up the pooper

WM: I bet your really good in bed…
Just don’t kill me please or bite of my ears until they bleed.
Hehe. 😉

WM: omg i almost fapped to you until i heard you were a guy. fml.

WM: Dude DOESN’T look like a lady….

WM: you have given me ptsd from seeing youre face. like holy crap

WM: Omg your suck a goth

A: I do suck a goth, how did you know? I like to suck them real good if you know what I mean.

WM: You cunt cake

A: Ooh, I like cunt cake. Just had one for dessert last night.

WM: hadn’t talked to anyone in years on the phone. ah ha. I believe this girl is in an institution & is using the facilities equipment to create & post these fantasies. hope you get well.

A: What can I say? This facility is a home to me. It’s so lovely with my computer, camera, microphone, desk, chair, and don’t forget the walls and ceiling. That’s my entire existence.

WM: I’m a trans-fat. A slender man in a fat mans body. As a young boy I would find myself awakening to hearing myself screaming, “please let me out of this fat guys body.” I am transitioning with a mouth staple & a throat plug. I knew even as a young lad that I was not in my correct body. So to make up for it I’ve got myself into as many skinny young girls bodies as possible. This is the way we trans-fats compensate for being born in the wrong body, until we transition.

So, that’s all for now. Thanks for watching!

Additional Info

I had quite a few questions that were more about advice than they were personal. This was something that I certainly appreciated since, while it takes me longer to respond, I can give my own advice to someone’s personal problems. While I am by no means qualified to help someone personally in this way, if I can help to give an alternative perspective on the matter to help them realize something about their life, then I’ve done my part. As for the weird messages, there seems to almost always be someone who creates a scenario to make fun of trans people by identifying as a pseudo-trans person. I find these quite hilarious actually since they are so well thought out!



About the Author

Autumn Asphodel
Autumn Asphodel helps others live a better life through natural means, hard work, and dedication.

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