Summary: Have you resorted to the Internet to identify yourself, only to find a ton of genders that don't make sense? There are thousands of genders...right? Or is this a fad the Internet has created?
You’re confused about your gender, or even sexuality, and you decide to look online for help, only to discover the thousands of genders that supposedly exist. You begin to find a few that you feel define you, and start to associate with them. You finally feel like you have the answer. But, the problem is that you resorted to the Internet to find labels to define you, instead of you defining yourself. You let someone else determine who you are, instead of finding yourself. You have self-identified with what you read online and claim that defines you, but does it really? This happens not just with gender identity, but also with physical and mental health disorders. This was discussed in our topic titled, “Internet Mental Disorders | Self-Diagnosing via the Internet.”
When we feel lost and different from others, we resort to the Internet to answer our questions. This immediately prevents us from actually finding the correct answer since the true answer is always from within. But, resorting to the Internet and other people’s opinions, comments, and information all leads us in a downward spiral of trying to redefine ourselves, but this time from a suggestible state where anything we read online we begin to associate with. The truth is, no amount of information we find online will actually define who we are, and thus it is a dead end. But, our need for answers due to fear of the unknown overtakes us and has us identify as things that our conscious mind knows doesn’t make sense.
At the core of all these genders, however, are the two that do exist, which are male and female. Much like you have various terms for day and night, such as sunrise, morning, noon, evening, night, midnight, and so on, they are all parts of day and night. The gender identities found online are all variations of male and female, with different terms applied to them, but there is still only male and female and that cannot change as that is the rule that governs all living life forms, for the ability to reproduce and keep the species alive, and humans are no different.
While that may seem disappointing, and invalidating, rest assured that the most validating thing you can do is discover the true answers within. You are a unique individual and deserve to express yourself the way you feel you are. However, you shouldn’t resort to the Internet to define you. Most of the time it’s the younger generation that does this because all these genders didn’t appear until after there was widespread access to the Internet. This is why there is an increasing number of people who identify as genders outside male and female, and also why mental health issues are very high among this group.
Another reason someone may try to find an answer online and identify as an obscure gender is because they want to seem valid, unique, and special. There is nothing wrong with desiring these things, but we are already unique and special since every single person is different from one another. You don’t need a term to tell you this, and flaunt it, because all that does is make you more of an outcast since you’re not being your true authentic self, and thus more mental health issues come about when identifying as these alternative genders.
Instead of letting others define who you are, bringing you down and making you feel depressed, instead focus on what’s important, which is your own happiness. Tune out all the nonsense that people say to bring you down and get the answers you seek from within, because that is the only place you’ll find them.
Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!
I grew up during a time where Internet access was slip, mostly dial-up and was inconvenient. There wasn’t anything on the Internet at the time about all these different genders. This is because they didn’t exist back then. These genders only exist because of the Internet. And thus, they are not real. While I do recognize that people can identify on a spectrum, it’s a spectrum of male and female. I saw the problems this was causing people, identifying as all sorts of complex genders to make themselves seem special and unique, but in reality it’s to cover up for how they feel about themselves. It’s a sad thing, but it’s important that the younger generation stay off the Internet since they are highly influenced by what they see and read.