In Love With Your Friend? What to Do When the Feeling Is Not Reciprocated

Are you in love with your friend, but they have rejected you? Here are some tips to be able to be yourself around them and deal with rejection.

Have you fallen in love with your friend, but don’t know how they feel? Or perhaps know the feeling is not reciprocated? This is a tough situation to be in since you have a close friendship, want it to be more than friends, but know it could ruin it by you confessing how you truly feel. There are several things that you can do for yourself to not only express how you truly feel but keep the friendship strong at the same time.

Desperate loving man making marriage proposal
© fizkes

For starters, you may have developed feelings for your friend over time. Perhaps you’ve been friends for a while, or even from childhood, but it was strictly platonic. Over time you start to develop romantic feelings. Perhaps you try to deny them, blocking them out since how could you fall in love with your closest friend? Or you realize that it’s wrong for you to have feelings for them because they already are in a committed relationship. Regardless, you begin to observe your thoughts and actions closely to not make them aware of the fact that you’re in love with them. But, your awkwardness around them may be what makes them suspicious of you and start to figure things out.

Continue to be yourself around your friend. It can be hard when you don’t want to come across as being in love with them, but you have to respect their boundaries and lessen your own awkwardness. Figure out where this line is, both by gauging what they are comfortable with and what you are comfortable with. If you’re uncomfortable doing certain activities with them since it feels too ‘romantic’ then don’t do them.

Sad black guy looking at his leaving girlfriend after arguing outdoors
© Prostock-studio

The next step is to brace for rejection. You have to be prepared for when you confess to your friend that they will reject you. Are you prepared for this? If not, then you need to work on yourself more before sharing with them. Tackle the issues you have with abandonment, focus on healing the wounds from childhood, and building your confidence. It’s ok to be sad if they reject you, but you have to prepare for the worst since if you don’t, it could be far more devastating than you imagined.

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Your feelings cannot be suppressed forever, and you may feel the urge to share how you feel. This can be hard as you fear it could ruin your relationship. Surely it can, but it doesn’t always. When you are in the right frame of mind, and they are as well, it may be time to share with them how you feel. Be prepared for whatever happens. Sure it would be great if they felt the same, which is a possibility, but also be prepared for rejection. If you are prepared to be rejected by your close friend, or even have the friendship change after confessing, then you are ready. Remember, you are doing this for you, to get it off your chest. You cannot hold it in forever.

Continue to build a platonic friendship, if possible. After you confess, the relationship will change. Your friend knows and has denied your love, but that doesn’t mean you cannot still be friends. Respect each other’s boundaries even more so. This goes back to step one where you were being yourself around them. Just because things changed, doesn’t mean the bond you share together has to.

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Having a close friend to share your world with is an amazing feeling, but when you fall in love and the feeling isn’t reciprocated, it will hurt. But, you can still manage to keep the relationship going strong by being prepared for rejection and not changing how you are around them. Be yourself and respect their boundaries.

Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

Additional Info

I only have limited (well very limited) experience with relationships. I have not had many close friends, and of the ones I did have, I wasn’t really in love with much of any of them. However, I have experienced the opposite, that some of the people I know and friends were in love with me, but I didn’t feel the same about them. I can always tell without them saying anything since it’s obvious to me. With that being said, it’s important to realize what both of you want out of the relationship and how it can work, even if one doesn’t feel the same way the other one does.


Love & Relationships

About the Author

Autumn Asphodel
My name is Autumn Asphodel (also known as Elle Stone) and I am a motivator and coach to help others live a better life through natural means, hard work, and dedication.

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