How I Learned to be Confident & Not Care What Others Think About Me

It took me many years to fully love and accept the person I am. Despite the challenges, discrimination, and even hatred towards me for the person I am and beliefs I hold, I stand strong and don't let others bring me down.


Confidence is something I struggled with greatly. For much of my life, I was afraid to show the person I was deep down because I feared what others would think. I didn’t want my words and actions to come off the wrong way, didn’t want to upset people, and didn’t want others to view me negatively. This led to me hiding who I truly was. But, all of that diminished when I became confident with who I truly was.

Confidence comes from within. I didn’t look at external sources to boost my mood and self-esteem. Rather, I had to get over my fears of what others thought about me. Building my confidence was a gradual thing. It first started with my physical appearance. Very slowly I started to not care if someone thought I was ugly, or looked like a man, or whatever else they thought. When I lacked confidence, I would pick apart the things about my physical body that I disliked, instead of embracing the person I was deep down. I now find beauty with every part of me, even if others may not accept it or find it ugly. This is a gradual change that took many years and continues to evolve to this day.

After the physical, came my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. I would be terrified to express my opinion on things because society has increasingly shunned voices that question the mainstream and go against what some call “normal thinking.” I would avoid topics, have intense fear of discussing certain things, have anxiety so bad about just expressing my views that it would keep me up at night and even wake me up in the middle of the night, having a panic attack. However, over time I started to realize that it’s irrelevant what others think. I have my beliefs and am allowed to express them as much as the next person is, so why should I censor myself if it will upset someone or offend them, or they will find me to be some creepy, weirdo, conspiracy theorist. I didn’t want to identify with these things and feared other’s opinions, but now I do not care. Those things do not define me. I’m allowed to express my views, regardless of what anyone else thinks. It was not easy, and I lost a lot of people along the way, but what kind of life is it to hold back how you feel about something, having an outside source control what you say and do? If I don’t speak up, then I’m complicit and guilty, and am selling my soul if I comply. So, I express my views, even if others shun me, dislike me, or even hate me for my beliefs.

Things are not perfect, as there are thoughts I have that still lead to me wondering what someone else would think. But, those feelings have greatly diminished. Expressing myself in ways I never thought imaginable, both physically and with my voice, without fearing what others would think, has allowed me to have some of the greatest opportunities in life. I stepped out of my comfort zone and allowed myself to venture into the unknown. Things were scary, but I learned so much along the way.

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You can do the same I have done. If you think that it’s a lost cause, then change that mindset right now since it’s never too late. Slowly begin to look at yourself in the mirror and love every part of your body. Think about your deep rooted beliefs and why you are afraid to express them, and find an outlet to release them. We all have a creative outlet to release what’s deep down within us, so find your outlet and gradually start moving into the state of feeling confident and not caring what others think.

Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

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This has been a long road for me, but it was worth it, and what’s even greater is that I am still evolving and changing. Each day presents opportunities for me to be confident and not care what others think. Some try to coerce me, and can be very convincing, but I recognize that now and stand firm with my beliefs. I express who I am in ways that the thought of doing it before was filled with so much fear, that I saw no way of possibly doing it. But, now things are different and I have confidence with who I am.

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Mental & Physical HealthConfidenceProgress

About the Author

Autumn Asphodel
Autumn Asphodel helps others live a better life through natural means, hard work, and dedication.

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