Eliminating the Fear of Transitioning

Many people prior to and early on in a gender transition will have fear. This fear will control their life and they may not want to transition. Here are some ways of eliminating that fear.


When you’re a transgender person, there is often intense fear prior to your transitioning. Additionally, this fear will often be with you even during the early parts of your transition, or even for many years following. These fears can be that you will never pass, will be ugly, unable to have the appearance and mannerisms of the opposite sex you’ve chosen to become, or that you will be discriminated against because of your appearance and gender identity, or fears of the reaction of your family, friends, coworkers, and others around you. These are all fears that feel very real to you, but they don’t have to control your life.

A sad afraid woman hiding in a dark closet alone at home
© globalmoments

If you have fear, it’s often fear of the unknown. You have thoughts going through your mind of what may happen, how people will react, how society will view and accept you, and so on. Once you actually begin the process of transitioning, that’s when things get real and some people are unable to continue and will stop their transition. It won’t matter how happy it makes them if their fear dominates their emotions and they stop transitioning. So, that fear has to be eliminated.

How do you eliminate this fear? There are some things you can control, and others that you cannot. Since you are venturing into the unknown, fear is natural. But, when fear dominates your life, preventing you from happiness, then changes have to be made. One major change is the perception of yourself. How do you view yourself now, prior to transition? Oftentimes it’s a feeling of hatred, anger, and frustration. This is unhealthy. Instead of focusing on the negative of what you dislike, look at more of the positive aspects in your life. This slight change in perspective over time will make a huge difference with your confidence and begin to erode away the fear.

Teen age. Selective focus of pink inscription ugly on mirror
© Viacheslav Yakobchuk

Likewise, it’s important to focus on your desired outcome. If you think you’ll be an ugly male or female after transitioning, then where do these thoughts come from? I can tell you where they don’t come from, it’s within you. Rather, these negative thoughts come from external sources, such as those around us, people we associate with, and informational sources we choose to read and watch. This is why you must focus on the person you desire to become. Imagine that person in your mind, every detail, physical and mental, and become that person. This is where hypnosis becomes extremely valuable since you’re changing the way you view yourself to be more positive and happy.

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And lastly, it does not matter what others think about you. Some people will get very upset when someone else doesn’t view them as the gender they are trying to present as. People may misgender you, by accident and intentionally. People may even harass you and target you for your gender identity. However, none of this should change the way you view yourself. However, many people let others define them. If someone misgenders them, they get upset and feel like the world is ending, bringing them down into a state of depression. But why? It is because you have not built up the confidence within yourself to stand by who you are, no matter what anyone else thinks. Why do you let someone else’s opinion define you? Don’t let it. Define yourself and use criticism constructively to improve yourself.

Happy transgender male and female outside
© Scott Griessel

You are the only one who can eliminate the fear of transitioning. Furthermore, you make the choice to take offense when someone says something that goes against your beliefs. These are all choices and entirely up to you since you are the only one in control of your life, no one else has that ability. You make decisions that will positively or negatively impact your life, and it’s entirely up to you to change your perspective to empower you into a state of not caring what others think and eliminating that fear. It takes time, so start with small things that bring happiness and joy into your life, and keep building upon those, and you’ll find just how much happiness and confidence has been lying dormant.

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Additional Info

From my experience, I had all the same thoughts that probably most people do, that I’ll be ugly, never pass, always be viewed as a man, deep voice, etc. I feared criticism and other people’s opinions of me. I had so much hatred for the male me that even associating with anything male was off limits. I couldn’t even wear male socks that fit me more than female ones did, because of dysphoria and hatred towards the male side of me. Over time I began to love and accept myself, did many hypnosis audio recordings to help me transition and love the person I am, and I made massive improvements at loving and accepting myself. I do not believe in regret, so I accept everything, including mistakes I’ve made, since it’s made me who I am today.

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LGBT / Transgender / TranssexualAnxietyFearTransgender / Transsexual

About the Author

Autumn Asphodel
Autumn Asphodel helps others live a better life through natural means, hard work, and dedication.

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