The Ego Dilemma

Our ego is reactive, emotional, and controls most thoughts, behaviors, desires, and impulses. However, many people live in the ego and don't know who they truly are. This is the dilemma.


The ego is part of our conscious mind that is reactive, emotional, and controls most thoughts, behaviors, desires, and impulses. It’s what ties you to the physical world we reside in. The ego serves a purpose as a defense mechanism since it reacts quickly without thought. However, many people live in their ego, unable to connect to the deeper part of themselves, and thus are often angry, hostile, and unable to think for themselves. These people often collect other people’s thoughts and ideas and absorb them into their own ego. This is the ego dilemma. In my next video, I will be discussing ways of detaching from the ego so you can find who you truly are.

Self searching and dilemma concept
© Sergey Nivens

The people we associate with are a reflection of ourselves. If we view ourselves negatively, we will associate with those that are negative, and often be stuck or get worse the more we are around them. If either of these two people change, the dynamic between them will be altered. Many times the friendship will end as one has changed in ways the other is not ready for, and thus cannot resonate with. This is the reason many friendships end, since one or both people change in different or opposite ways and thus are no longer compatible. Alternatively, some friends grow together instead of apart, adapting to changes.

With the ego, we absorb other people’s personalities around us. What we absorb is often what we currently think about ourselves. If we think negatively, the ideas and thoughts from others that we deem as negative will be absorbed into our ego, and often to a layer of our unconscious mind where we accept the ideas as true, no matter how false they actually are. When we talk down to ourselves, picking out our flaws and insecurities, where does the overwhelming majority of those ideas come from? It’s from other people. We may have heard people saying negative things about us, and immediately accept it as true. The ego will also compare itself to others as it battles for competition, and thus when we aren’t as attractive as another, or have issues with our appearance that makes us insecure, all of this has to do with the very surface of who we are, the ego. This is the dilemma we find ourselves in, trying to find our true self and what would make us happy. But, the answers the ego searches for are external. There are no answers to be found outside of yourself since they always come from within.

Concept of selfishness and arrogance in relationships
© Prazis Images

To find who you truly are and what would make you happy is to be introspective and look within you. The ego will step in and try to stop you, however. You may find something you really like, but the ego will say that you will never be successful. The defense mechanism kicks in and you decide not to pursue your passion. Instead, you go towards trivial things that other people tell you to do since you feel like that’s what you deserve. You don’t feel worthy since no one has made you feel worthy, and your ego is stopping you from expressing your deepest desires. Your ego has gotten these ideas from others. When you have self doubt, it’s not your authentic self, but rather other people’s influence on you. By letting your ego direct your life, you’re allowing other people to control you more than you control yourself. It’s very easy to trick the ego, and some people will manipulate you using psychological tactics so you do what they want you to do, without you being able to give it any thought.

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So, the ego dilemma is when you’re unable to connect with your true, authentic self and live in the ego, which is often overly emotional, impulsive, and compares itself to others. We’ll be talking about how to detach from the ego in the next topic.

Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

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Additional Info

This topic was something that I found quite interesting. I just had random ideas like I usually do, and came up with the name and started writing. I’ve seen many people live in the ego, unable to think deeper and from their true selves. I hope this message reaches those people.

Published: (updated: )

Mental & Physical HealthEgo

About the Author

Autumn Asphodel
Autumn Asphodel helps others live a better life through natural means, hard work, and dedication.

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