Are you in love? Is it true love? How can you tell? Let’s talk about that now.

Heart and love

Hi everyone! We are going to be discussing true love and how you can tell if you’ve found true love. Many of us have a desire to be loved and find the ‘perfect’ partner. While perfection doesn’t exist, in that there will always be flaws in others we have to accept, we can find someone that we can connect with on a deep level. This desire we have to find love can come from a place of wanting to share our life with someone else, to even that of loneliness and need for someone else. Regardless of the reason you may feel a desire to have love in your life, it’s completely natural and there is nothing wrong with wanting a partner.

young teenager dreaming about the love of life

In our mind we envision a partner that has certain traits, such as their appearance, mannerisms, even quirks, and so on. We may get so caught up in this fantasy that we tend to create a fictional partner with a list of traits that we cannot find in our daily life. We think so hard and give many details to a potential partner in our minds that it becomes impossible for us to actually meet someone like this because we reject others who don’t fit the checklist. This can lead to us feeling lonely and isolated, like there is no one out there for us.

The silhouette of woman sitting alone with grey sky, concept of lonely, sad, alone, person space

We may even be someone who has such intense fears of abandonment and rejection that we jump from relationship to relationship, doing anything to make our partner happy to keep them in our lives, and then ending the relationship before they can reject us since it’s easier to reject someone else than it is to accept being rejected by our partner. Often this behavior will stem from past issues of neglect and abandonment, mostly from childhood. If we have not address these issues, they will repeat themselves in romantic relationships as well.

For those of us who have found a partner, however, we may be asking ourselves if we have finally found ‘the one.’ Someone who stands out from the crowd and will be there for possibly the rest our lives. Perhaps even having the idea in our heads of getting married and having children with them to further secure that bond and reassure they are they one that will be with us in the long-term.

Rustic heart.

You may have even heard the terms ‘soulmate’ or ‘twin flame’ to describe people who are a theoretical perfect match for us. Many of us may desire these connections, especially if we feel like outcasts in the world because it would mean that we finally found someone who could connect with us on a level that no one else can and can just get us like no one else can. Many of us may have even found soulmates in our lives. A soul mate relationship doesn’t always last, and it may not even be romantic in nature, but it always has major potential for growing and learning.

Heart reflected in waves

Regardless of if we have found someone or not, we may be asking ourselves, “How can I tell if it’s true love and it will last?” The short answer is, you can’t. You will never know if it’s true love and will last long-term. However, there are things that you can observe in the relationship to see if what you two are feeling is genuine. True, genuine love comes from a place of mutual love and acceptance. Both you and your partner will love each other unconditionally, and will respect each other’s boundaries. If you need some space, you will be able to open up and share this with your partner knowing that they will respect your wishes and will wait until you are ready. This as opposed to your partner demanding things from you that you cannot offer and not respecting your wishes. The former is genuine, and the latter can lead to a destructive relationship that could end miserably for the both of you.

Another thing to look for is the mutual connection you two share and you two putting aside other things to make time for one another. I’m sure we’ve all had that friend who always makes excuses of why they haven’t gotten back to us and cannot meet up and so on. When someone doesn’t give you the time you need, it makes you feel like they don’t really care. This will happen in romantic relationships as well, but with proper communication, a lot of the problems that come with it can be avoided and remedied.

As for tips for finding a partner, if you are looking for a partner, then that may be a problem right there. We try too hard to seek out someone versus just living life and working on ourselves so we attract the partner that is a match for us. We may feel lonely and desire a partner to fill that void. Be the person you want to attract. If you are negative, you will attract negative. If you are positive, you will attract positive. I cannot stress enough just how important this is. Self-doubt and not feeling worthy affects our ability to meet a partner, as is a want or need for a partner. Thinking, “I want someone in my life,” manifests the desire for wanting a partner, but not actually having one. If you are going to think about a partner in your life, think of it like they are already in your life. Using terms like, “I have a loving partner in my life.” This will allow you to drop the ‘want’ from the thought and actually bring the right person to you. And most importantly, just be you and work on yourself. Having confidence and just doing your own thing is excellent on its own. You can be happy with just yourself.

So the conclusion here is that it is not necessarily possible to tell what true love is. Rather, some signs of a healthy relationship are a mutual connection of love and acceptance, in addition to dedicating time with one another. If you are looking for a partner, take a step back and just live life, change the ‘want’ into ‘have’ and live each day with confidence and self-reflection and growth.

If you have any other input on this topic, I would love to hear it so please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you agree or disagree with, and/or how this has helped you or someone close to you. I hope this information was informative and helpful to you. Have a wonderful day!

Additional Info

This was another ‘how to tell’ video suggested to me. This is actually the last suggestion I took at the time. I found the topic appropriate since, I know for me at least, I would always be thinking in my mind when I was going to find the right partner, and if anyone in my life was going to be there in a romantic way. It’s so strange how I do it, but I guess that’s what happens when you are single4life.

Notify of
1 Comment
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
April 28, 2019 6:14 PM

Hi Autumn! I just wanted to say I love you! You are such an inspiration to all. I always watch your videos and will continue to do so. I’m sorry your views have went down recently. Don’t take it personal. You are awesome and keep doing do what you do! I get very immersed in your topics, especially the topics on mental health and gender identity. I have learned about things I had never thought about before. You are inspiring to maybe blog about my own stories of trauma. It’s a scary thing letting it out though….. Love you beautiful!… Read more »