Hi everyone, I thought I’d answer some more of your questions and read back weird messages. Be sure to check the description to go to specific questions if needed.
Q: what inspired the name Autumn?
A: Well, I came up with the name I think when I began to think about creating a YouTube channel. I think I decided upon it late 2012 or maybe early 2013. I was thinking of names I liked and were a bit darker to represent that aspect of myself. I really like the name, despite not actually liking the season, Autumn.
Q: Are you opposed to the idea of dating a male?
A: You know, this was something I’ve been thinking about lately as well and determined that yes I would date a male if they were the right person for me. Does this still make me a lesbian? No, I guess not. While I am more attracted to women, I think I could date a male if they possessed the traits I find attractive about someone. Due to the progress I have made, it’s opened up many possibilities for me. It was due to a relationship experience I did have with a female that opened me up more to love so I don’t think it really matters anymore if someone is male, female, or anything else since I would love the person if we were meant to be.
Q: Would you ever consider marriage? If so, where would you want your honeymoon?
A: Marriage is not my priority by any means. If it were to happen, then great. If not, oh well. As for the honeymoon, I guess I’ve always thought about going to some country overseas, looking at the sky at night, the stars, the moon, while the air is filled with a wonderful scent of various essential oil or incense, as well as a nice bed with a sheer canopy. I guess it’s very specific, but that’s what I have envisioned in my mind with someone else.
Q: Do you believe in astrology? As in star signs and zodiacs?
A: Yes, I do. I use to be more into this and would look at the horoscope and learn about the different signs. Now, I don’t really do it that much, but it still interests me. I did a video about this so I’ll have an annotation and a link in the description. [Aries] I personally am an Aries and I think it accurately describes me.
Q: do you like to read, and if yes, what is/are your favorite book/books/authors?
A: I do enjoy reading, but I don’t really read any books. I like educational material. So, anything that is a story, forget it. And even then, most of the reading I do is online. It takes a while for me to read a physical book and I have a few that I never finished.
Q: Do u believe that our sufferings are due to our past life.
A: No, I do not. The suffering we endure in this lifetime is completely independent of what we did during our past lives. That karma, if you will, doesn’t transfer over. Rather, what you make your life out to be during this lifetime determines your fate and what life will send you.
Q: Do you believe in guardian angels, and if you do, what is your experience with them?
A: I do, in that I believe in spirit guides. I think they are guides here to help us figure out our true self and goals on this planet. I personally can’t say I’ve ever had much of any experience. There are a few things I can think of that I could say was perhaps a spirit guide or some other force. But, it could very well be my own intuition that may of perhaps been drawn from these external sources.
Q: Have you ever tried a hallucinogenic drug? If so, what was that experience like for you? If not, are you interested in doing so?
A: No, I have not tried any drug of the sort. That’s not my focus right now in my life. I have certainly thought about it, mostly in the past as I saw it as an escape from the world around me so I didn’t have to deal with my problems. If I were to do any sort of drug of the sort, it would need to be something that is natural and organic, and I would need to approach it with a positive frame of mind instead of trying to escape my problems. With that being said, meditation can bring about the same state of mind on its own without the need of a drug. So, that is natural to me and what I will stay with.
Q: What are some of your pet peeves?
A: How about this? People on their phones constantly. Or these dumb selfie pictures. Ugh.
Q: Would you have any interest in discussing about politics or any policies that might affect the issues and topics you usually bring up?
A: No, not at all. I’m not the slightest bit interested in politics, unless it’s a comedy show that makes fun of politics and such.
Q: Why would you give those that are negative acknowledgement in your Q&A’s? Do you think you might be encouraging the trolls to take shots at you? You have overcome so much. You deserve better.
A: Valid point. But, being completely honest, the ones I mention in my videos are not negative at all to me. If I read a comment and it makes me smile or laugh, that’s one I include in a weird message section. I do not include ones that are hateful or disrespectful since it’s not important to me anymore and I do not even read them. If people want to say rude or hateful things about me, all it does is show the type of person they are and how much they are struggling with their own life and lack of self love.
Q: I’m curious how you work the separate channels. Do you “give control” to either Autumn or Iris, or is it more like a single person getting into a different mood?
A: Well, this isn’t an official video announcement or anything, but yes, the Iris Fae channel, which includes meditation, hypnosis, and ASMR is now public. There isn’t much of anything on there yet, but soon. I’ll have a link for you in the description. [Iris Fae] But anyway, the answer to this question has to do with the progress I’ve made over the years. I do not really see it as different personalities anymore, but more like expressing myself and being all I can be. I would like to talk more about this in the future.
Q: Is it odd/bad for someone to miss old bad habits/old selves? (depression, self harm, etc) i miss my 14-15 yr old self even though i was really depressed and emotional then and self harming.
A: I don’t think it’s uncommon at all. When you have those past habits, it’s easy to think back to them and slip back into them. There is a level of comfort being back at that stage. How I personally see it is that it’s a test life is giving you. You are to reflect back at your old self and see how far you’ve come to be the person you are today. See the progress that has made you a better person and what you went through to achieve the life you currently have.
Q: im having a lot of trouble lately with sex. I want it more often than my boyfriend does and I feel like I rely on it for emotional reasons more than anything else. Can you help me?
A: The first thing you can do is to be open about it with your boyfriend. If he is aware of how you are feeling, he would then be able to analyze himself and his behavior so he can help you. Since you mentioned that sex for you is more emotional, your boyfriend should be able to satisfy your emotional needs even without sex. You just need to let him know so he can give you what you desire that will make the both of your happy.
Q: i’m sexually attracted to my sister. Whenever i masturbate to her i feel shame and more disconnected to her afterwards. If i don’t, then my desire becomes overwhelming until i binge.
A: I think it is amazing you can share that first of all. Secondly, you may feel shame because you feel it is not right to be sexually attracted to your sister. The shame originates because it’s not something viewed as ethical. And while I agree that being attracted to your sister in this way is not healthy, you can certainly move on from it. You have to begin to find other things you are attracted to. Perhaps there are certain characteristics about her you enjoy. If you know what they are, you can begin to look for others that possess these characteristics. You should never feel shame, but you almost must be realistic and recognize that this is not benefiting you and is not of your best interest. When you begin to get aroused, you can shift your focus to something else that can arouse you to replace the idea of your sister.
Q: I’m a lesbian but I keep having doubts, despite the fact that I know I’m attracted to exclusively girls. They come out of no where. How can I prevent them or work around them?
A: Well, it sounds like you are perhaps in denial about your sexuality. Many people doubt themselves as they are learning about who they really are. It can take a long time to truly accept yourself and that is what you can do at this point in your life. You don’t want to prevent these ideas or work around them, but rather you want to work through them. Give yourself some time to yourself and really think about what you truly feel and analyze your behavior and thinking. It may take some time, but you will learn about yourself even more and begin to accept who you really are and whom you are attracted to.
Q: Many trans ppl dont agree w sayin “when I was a male” bc they were never male, just assigned male at birth. Do u disagree w that or do u say it so ppl who arent familiar w LGBT terms can understand?
A: For me, I say I was a male because I was a male. That’s how I view it personally for me. I can say I was living as a male, but deep down was always a woman. So, that’s probably what I am usually referring to when I say it. I have no shame talking about myself anymore. It’s done and over with. I’m the real me now, so no more hiding.
Weird message time. The first is:
WM: She’s definitely high!
A: Oh yeah! All day every day, baby.
WM: honestly trying to figure out what is making her talk like that. it sounds like she skips letters in almost every word, like she is drunk
A: So drunk and so high in every video all day every day forever and ever. 420 blaze it!
WM: whoa Panda Woman wtf
WM: is that sharpie on her face
A: Sharpie comments continue, what?!
WM: All I have to say is… the eyeshadow has to stop somewhere.
A: Actually it doesn’t. No, I must resist. I’ve done far too many makeup jokes. I’ve taken the eyebrows off, I’ve digitally applied them, I’ve put sharpie over them. I’m done. I’m finally done.
WM: Fifty shades of Goth. In theaters November 1st.
A: Ooh, sounds pretty hot. I’ll take my girlfriend and my boyfriend to go see that.
WM: Is this the real Michael Jackson?
A: It is!
WM: Has anyone else noticed she has the same body language as Pewdiepie, e.g same mouth movements and eye glances
A: Oh really? I’m the same as PewDiePie? Never have I heard that one before. Can’t really say I really watch him or anything so I have no idea what you are talking about.
WM: Gee, wondering if someone is real. Like a real woman?
WM: This person doesn’t look human.
A: I’m not. I am a manifestation of how you humans view one another. My origins are far beyond this planetary system.
WM: Well that’s 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back…
A: Time well spent I hope.
WM: This is very offensive to people with DID and I hate you. But actually it’s not that offensive, it’s all right.
A: Well which one is it?
WM: I’ve never been so turned on and scared at the same time
A: Ah, that’s called the arousal scares. It’ll be alright. In time you’ll learn to accept it.
WM: I bet she’s an absolute savage in the sack.
A: I am. But, you’ll never know.
WM: My penis has borderline personality disorder. Sometimes he’s so happy he cries, other times he literally shrinks away from the world.
WM: I’m thinking about getting some goat legs surgically attached, a bird’s vagina and a crabs mandibles.
I just don’t identify with people. I’m more of a vampire/bird/crab/goat man female.
I am hoping to marry a infant baby piglet. When will you people support me?
WM: My issue is that I’m a poopsexual. I really enjoy pooping to the point of orgasm. This causes me to eat a lot throughout the day to feed my poopsexual addiction. Toilet paper bill is getting expensive. Is there help for me?
So, that’s all for now. Thanks for watching!