CYCLE —IT CONTINUES— (The Cycle of Abuse)

A cycle that never ends, repeating itself over and over again. Specifically, the cycle of abuse that repeats itself. It continues to manifest long after the event occurred. One may surrender to it, unable to move on as it continues to play out. Or perhaps fight it off by becoming the very thing they were afraid of, the abuser themselves. It’s a never ending cycle that continues.

Dealing with trauma and abuse can be challenging, and these are the two most common ways one copes with it. They let it control them and are afraid of it and develop other negative coping mechanisms to deal with the abuse done to them long ago. Depression, anxiety, addictions, and even becoming the bully and abuser are just some of the challenges one faces that have been unable to move on from past events. But, it’s possible to move on and the first step is to recognize how you are coping and began to do that inner work and actually face these struggles you are having. It is possible given enough time and with dedication and persistence on your part. I know it’s hard, and I’ve been there, and I’ve moved on from it. And you can as well. I know you can make it through. I believe in you. And, you just need to realize that you know you can as well.

—RELATED VIDEOS—
Halloween (part 1) – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2IrJieaZJ0

Table of Contents

    And then she tried.
    Why?
    But there should be.
    No.
    What’s the problem?
    But why?
    That will never be.
    No.
    There shouldn’t be a problem.
    No, never.
    Goodbye.

    Remember what she did?
    I remember.
    I do remember.
    Remember what she did?
    I remember what she did.
    Yes.
    I remember.
    I always remember.
    Why can’t you forget?
    Why don’t you forget?
    It’s time to forget.
    Yes.
    All of it will be forgotten.
    Really?
    Really.
    Really!
    Remember?
    Remember what she did?
    Yes, what happened?
    Yes, what happened?
    Is there a problem.
    What did she do?
    What did she do to you?

    But why?
    Yes.
    It will always be.
    But why?
    Why can’t it be good?
    Why can’t it be good?
    This is the end.
    It’s never good.
    It will never be good.
    That is the way.
    There is always a way.
    No.
    You will never know.
    But why?

    But.
    Can you really believe that is true?
    Why?
    Why would it be true?
    There will never be a true way.
    No.
    There never will be.
    It’s time for it to end.
    The ending.


    A cycle that never ends, repeating itself over and over again. Specifically, the cycle of abuse that repeats itself. It continues to manifest long after the event occurred. One may surrender to it, unable to move on as it continues to play out. Or perhaps fight it off by becoming the very thing they were afraid of, the abuser themselves. It’s a never ending cycle that continues.

    Dealing with trauma and abuse can be challenging, and these are the two most common ways one copes with it. They let it control them and are afraid of it and develop other negative coping mechanisms to deal with the abuse done to them long ago. Depression, anxiety, addictions, and even becoming the bully and abuser are just some of the challenges one faces that have been unable to move on from past events. But, it’s possible to move on and the first step is to recognize how you are coping and began to do that inner work and actually face these struggles you are having. It is possible given enough time and with dedication and persistence on your part. I know it’s hard, and I’ve been there, and I’ve moved on from it. And you can as well. I know you can make it through. I believe in you. And, you just need to realize that you know you can as well. Thank you very much!

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    Notes

    This was a follow up to last year’s Halloween video. It was a continuation to the story. Like the previous one, I never really intended for it to be connected, but when I saw what was recorded and how I edited it together, I knew there was a connection. There is quite a bit of symbolism in the videos. For instance, the dark, evil, demon looking thing in both videos represent the dark side of our personality. Usually the things we try to run and hide from, even trauma that has resurfaced and relives itself constantly in one’s life. It’s like a scary monster as we take whatever abuse it throws at us. We can be helpless and let it control us and dictate how we feel about ourselves and the people in our lives. This represents depression, suicidal thoughts, addictions, etc. In other words, a negative coping mechanism that is self-destructive.

    That was one piece of symbolism, but the other is that the victim stands up to the demon by become the very demon themselves. This is shown in the beginning of the video where you see the transformation to the demon. Then at the end, you see the same footage. Technically, you could play this on repeat and see how the person who was abused stood up to the demon and became that very thing themselves. This represents another way of coping, becoming the abuser. While this person too feels helpless about the abuse done to them, they project how the abuse made them feel to others to get control over the abuse done to them. So others know how they are feeling on the inside. This too is another coping mechanism.

    With that being said, the only way then is to face it and overcome it. These other ways of coping are mostly to avoid addressing the pain. It’s to cover it up and block it out. This is why people cope the way they do, since they do not feel they can address the pain, because it is difficult. I know how difficult it is to address the pain. And during those times, it’s like reliving it. But, that is what needs to be done for one to overcome it.

    The symbolism with me is that, well it describes my own hard times in the past, and even recent hard times I’ve had. Facing difficult situations and feeling hopeless, like things will not get better. Wanting things that are gone from me back in my life when it was happier, yet unable to get it back. Like chasing something that simply will never happen. To face the reality of the situation and deal with it, and then move on from it. These were all things I dealt with in my life.

    I recorded the video on three separate days. I had a general ideal, and recorded what I thought would be good for the video. The voices, I just sat down on my bed and recorded whatever came out of my mouth. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but recorded whatever came to mind. This was even symbolic. The downside to all this was that I spent too much time on this video. That’s something I’m not very happy with since it took a negative toll on me since it took weeks since I began to slack at the overwhelming work this one, short video required. I don’t think I will be doing something like this again when I have a deadline to meet, especially since the response to videos like these are generally low. And also, I was rather upset to see the final quality of the production on YouTube as it was quite bad compared to the original that I uploaded. Oh well, that’s how YouTube encodes the videos.