Hi everyone! This video is going to be about having a superiority complex and thinking one is better than others, arrogance and narcissism. I will be discussing some examples of having a superiority complex and thinking one is better than others, as well as ways of reasoning with someone like this. The first thing to mention is that we are all narcissistic in some way? We may think that we do certain things better than others, or are the best in what we do, even if we simply are not since there will always be someone else that can provide a different set of skills. This type of thinking is perfectly reasonable. We’ve all had it, myself included. You are not alone if you think you are the only one that thinks you do things better than others. It’s that you’ve recognized your skills.
However, the purpose of this information specifically has to do with projecting these ways of thinking onto others. It’s one thing to actually have these thoughts, than it is to act upon them. Someone who thinks they are better than others will go to great lengths to prove to others that they are better than them. They may brag about how good their life is, or the things they have, to almost show off. Yet, for many individuals, the core issue has to do with them being fragile and unable to accept criticism. Any amount of criticism can set them off since they cannot take it. Which is why they make up for feeling low and inferior about themselves, such as a lack of self-esteem, and instead put on a false representation of themselves that they make superior to compensate, which they often defend to great lengths to avoid pain.
Now, what is the difference between arrogance and narcissism? Ultimately it comes down to how they view themselves and their ways and beliefs. Someone who is arrogant or narcissistic views highly of themselves and their beliefs. However, narcissists usually think they are better than everyone else. People with a similar belief as their own are also wrong. This tends to stem from feeling inferior. In other words, narcissism tends to be a coping mechanism for how negative they view themselves, so they compensate by believing they are better than everyone else. Arrogance on the other hand is a much lighter form of this. Someone who is arrogant may not think everyone is wrong, but people who disagree with them. Those that understand them and agree with their ways may not see their arrogance. Rather, the arrogant person may project their views and feelings of being superior and important onto others. They are very sensitive to criticism and will fight to be correct in an argument, while a narcissist simply knows they are correct so there is no point in arguing.
From the people I’ve personally seen online, I receive comments from all sorts of people. People who demonstrate both arrogant characteristics as well as narcissistic traits. They think they are better than me, harass me, call me names, whatever else. Not only does this not get anywhere, but they truly believe they are better than me, and even other people as well. Others may even feel threatened by me. What I mean is, they watch my videos, understand the abuse I endured, the struggle I had to get where I am today, and they look at the success I’ve achieved. Not only with overcoming the major obstacles in my life, but the success of the content I produce to help others overcome their own problems. They say that their life is more difficult, and that I do not deserve to be happy, and that it should be them with the success. I’ve encountered this on a few occasions, and it goes back to how they feel about themselves. They see me and feel disappointed with themselves that they have not been able to overcome their own problems. They feel jealous that I was able to, and upset that they have not yet.
It’s the same thing as social media. How many times does the lonely person who doesn’t really have any friends or goes anywhere sees their Facebook friends going on vacations, with their partner, children, having fun. Yet, they can’t afford a vacation, they have no partner, they are not able to have children, and cannot even have fun with anyone else. They may retreat into depression and feel bad about themselves, or they may turn into the type of person this video is about, a person with a superiority complex. If that is the case, they will harass others and say something like, “I hope you have a terrible vacation and all of you get stranded at sea.” They may legitimately feel this way and want that because they feel threatened by the person going on the vacation because of the happiness they are having. It may feel like they are being attacked by them because they compare it to their own life of not being happy with themselves or what is going on in their life. This is something all too common.
Other things I hear online which generally demonstrate a superiority complex are probably the most annoying for me. The first one is, which isn’t so much annoying as it is amusing, but people who are highly religious that try to make you part of their religion. The amount of people, almost all of which are Christian, come to my videos, say prayers, and they proceed to go into detail about if I don’t repent for my sins that I will burn in hell. That my lifestyle is wrong because it goes against their God and religion. As well as them having all the answers to get me on the right path in life to be loved and accepted by their God. This doesn’t annoy me since I am, let’s face it, not a religious person. I am not a religious person. Rather, I am a spiritual person, which some have even said that my practices are from the devil.
Another example, which is one that does annoy me and has certainly infuriated me and stressed me out has to do with my diet. I am a vegetarian, I am not a vegan. I made a video about my diet back in 2014 and I never expected what would’ve come from it in the first two or three days after posting it. First thing to note is that it was all vegans that found my video since it was new and tried to force their lifestyle upon me. They didn’t bother watching the video, they just commented stuff like, “You are living an unhealthy lifestyle. You must become vegan so you can realize your full potential. If not, you will be unhealthy and are contributing to animal suffering by consuming dairy products.” This set me off big time since no one tells me how to live my own life. No one tells me that my lifestyle, the one that I chose, is wrong. No one makes me feel as though I am inferior to them. There were a decent amount of comments like this and I deleted all of them because I have no tolerance for these types of remarks. Furthermore, there was even a person that went to my Google+ profile and would go from post to post commenting the same exact thing, which was primarily links to vegan diet information and websites and how eating meat and dairy is bad for your health. In other words, it was spam because it was continued promotions that I didn’t want. I’m glad I blocked them when they only commented on five or six posts because they were going to go through probably all of them. That’s how desperate they were to get their message across.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not angry at vegans. I have nothing against anyone of any diet, or lifestyle, or anything. We are all equal as human beings. But, when you are going to tell me that my lifestyle is flawed and that I need to live by your lifestyle to be a good person is something I do not respect or have any tolerance for. I hear these drawn out statements, which I could dispute as being simply a matter of opinion, and I realize that it’s not for me. I can make my own decision if I wanted to, and I don’t need to have anyone else convince me. There is a difference between being understanding and accepting others and informing them versus trying to get their own point across so someone can convert to a lifestyle they feel is superior.
These are two sensitive topics that many people care deeply about and can take great offense to. The examples I gave are just two of the many examples of a superiority complex. These specific ones, from my perspective, demonstrate arrogance. They all behave similarly. It’s almost as if they are incapable of forming their own opinions, and like they are repeating the same thing as everyone else in their group over and over again. Almost like they have gone blind and lost touch with themselves and are following a trend. But, the point to take away from these two examples is that they are trying, pressuring, shaming you into converting to their lifestyle. It’s not a choice, you have to do it. This is clear arrogance for the simple fact that they feel superior and there is no arguing with them. You are wrong, they are right. If you don’t convert, you are a bad, terrible person. But, if you change your ways, they will accept you, that is until something changes with them and their beliefs. These are clear signs of an arrogant person for the simple fact that they cannot accept ideas outside of their own and the people that also incorporate their own lifestyle. But, how can you reason with someone like this? How can you keep your calm to get through to them and not stress yourself out? I’ll discuss that now.
Dealing with an Arrogant Person
Dealing with someone with a superiority complex that thinks they are better than you can be frustrating and challenging. You may become angry and upset that they simply will not listen to anything you have to say and immediately dismiss it. This is the first point to dealing with them, learn to realize that you cannot change them or their behavior. You have no control over their thoughts, actions, behavior, so you are only stressing yourself out by wanting them to understand what you have to say. This is why you have to help yourself from becoming stressed. Learn to lessen that stress by eliminating the thoughts to change them. Perhaps they are giving you orders on how they are better than you and how you should change your ways since it would be better, at least in their eyes. Would it not be the same exact behavior if you expect them to change their ways to better suit you? Yes, it’s exactly the same. If they are trying to force you to be a certain way, and you do not accept it and try to make them stop forcing you to live that way, you are doing the same exact thing to them as they are you.
This brings us to the next point, to learn to get your point of view across to them without trying to manipulate them or change their behavior. After you’ve realized you cannot change them, you can still get your point across as to how you are feeling without it seeming as though you are repeating their actions. For instance, if someone is constantly bragging about how nice of a car they have, perhaps it’s a hybrid car, and they are constantly saying that their car is superior to yours and for the environment it is better and that you are doing bad for the environment by driving the car you do which is not like theirs at all. Yes, this can get incredibly annoying since they are basically saying that their choice of car, regardless of if you can afford it or not, is better than yours. While you may want to dispute this back at them, this could end up in an argument. You two are constantly arguing about this topic, trying to prove one another wrong. But, neither one of you are actually listening to one another or accepting each other’s choice. Perhaps a better solution would be to learn to step back from your own views and listen to what they have to say and hear them out. You don’t have to accept it, nor do you have to view it like them giving you orders. Rather, you can view it simply as information. You can then open up about how they are truly making you feel. Let them know that you do not appreciate being given orders, or told what to do, or that your decisions that you’ve made are poor. Let them know how them trying to convert you to their lifestyle and decisions is not for you and you are hurt by their constant need to try and change you. Give them something to relate to and perhaps use the example of how you were trying to convince them otherwise. Let them know how what they are doing and saying is truly making you feel because they may not know unless you tell them.
When dealing with a narcissist, this can be much more difficult since they simply may not care about you and your emotions. They may not care how it’s making you feel and dismiss it, which ends up hurting even more. They may even shame you into feeling a certain way to convince you to change your ways. This is where you can learn to realize that their decisions and views about you are independent of how you should feel. In other words, you do not have to associate with their negative views of you as your own. Basically what this means is that you may feel inferior when around someone with a superiority complex. You may feel threatened by them and like you are not worthy because they make themselves seem superior to you. However, this is a choice to accept this. You do not have to perceive them as being superior and you being inferior. This is the frame of mind they are trying to portray since they require that satisfaction of being better than everyone and everything. So, recognize when people are making you feel this way and stand up for yourself and realize that you are not what this other person says or thinks about you, nor do you have to accept their views as your own, because only you can determine what you are. Only you can make the proper decisions. And no amount of shame or feeling guilty should deter you from how you truly feel.
This bring us to the last point, which is mainly for those that feel as though they have a superiority complex or are always trying to prove to others that they are right and the other person is wrong. Realizing this about yourself can be difficult, but if you think that you are dealing with this then the first place to start is to ask yourself why you feel as though you need to prove things to others or show off your accomplishments or choices. Ask yourself why. It may be because your friends don’t listen to you or care about your choices, so you may brag and rub it in their face that you are making what you think is a superior decision. However, the problem with this is that you are actually making people leave. You have no control over them, which you try to, and it ends up hurting you even more. Instead of opening up about how you truly feel about them not taking an interest in what you have to say, you instead try to force a way of life perhaps because you have no one else to relate to. Perhaps another example would be that you are overly proud about a decision you made that really helped you and only want others to know about it so they can better themselves as well. Again, you have no control over how someone else runs their life so you cannot force anything upon them. There are many factors that can go into this, and realizing it is one of the most difficult, as is actually working on getting to a healthier, stable place to let others be and make their own decisions. But, following these steps will certainly aid with this.
So in conclusion, dealing with someone that has a superiority complex can be frustrating since they may always prove you wrong and make you feel inferior to them. But, realizing that you cannot change their behavior and that you do not have to associate with their views can certainly help you tolerate their behavior in a more constructive manner as well as perhaps help them realize their own behavior and how it made you feel which can allow them to help themselves. I hope this video was informative and helpful. Thanks for watching!