Are you in control of your life, or are there outside forces that are controlling you? Many people believe they are in control of their life, but are actually being controlled and influenced by others to make decisions that are not of their best interest. What if you are being influenced without even knowing it?

Manipulating arm on a black and white background

Your decisions and ideas on life, as well as goals you wish to accomplish, should come from a place within you, often your true self, your higher self. However, the physical reality we reside in, hearing other people’s opinions and views changes how we perceive things. If you feel that your true calling is an artist, but receive constant criticism from your family, friends, and even outsiders that you’ll never be successful, and that you don’t have the skills necessary to do it, and that you’ll never amount to much as they compare you to others who are successful in the field. Instead, they drill into your head that you will not amount to much and will have a low paying job and never be promoted. Perhaps some of your family and friends think highly of you and want you to pursue being a doctor. They keep talking about it and persuade you to pursue the career path that doesn’t interest you in the slightest.

At this point, you have stopped listening to your true self, your true calling, and instead are being controlled by others, but have been tricked into believing that they are your true authentic thoughts. As you venture forth with being a doctor, you like what you are doing, but deep down there is a feeling like this just isn’t right. You’re not feeling the drive within you to continue with this career. You’re looking at it as just a job. Each day feels like a drag as you don’t feel motivated. Some days are obviously better than others, but you lack motivation to even get up and move in the morning to go to the job. You wonder what’s wrong.

Man marionette runs into abyss

The truth is, you denied your true calling and listened to others as they controlled your decisions. They manipulate you into doing something they wanted you to do, but you didn’t want to do it. You were afraid of their criticism or even making them disappointed in you if you didn’t listen to their advice and what they wanted you to do. You feared they would be upset if you pursued your own passion, so you gave in and listened to them, despite it making you miserable. You have pleased them, but have not pleased yourself. This is often how many people go about life, especially those in strict households.

But, what if you truly believe and realize you are not in control of your life? What if you’re aware of it? This too is a problem since you’re allowing an external source to control you, manipulate you, put you down and make you feel worthless. You live in fear of judgement from others, so you don’t do what makes you happy, and instead limit yourself and your true potential.

So what can you do about this? Stop listening to other people and being manipulated and coerced by them. Stand by what you want and believe in, no matter what, even to the point of appearing stubborn to the opposition. Listen to their side carefully, and don’t ignore good advice, and take constructive criticism when you can, but remember that you are the one in charge of your life. No one else is. Don’t worry about what others think of you since in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? Does it really matter if some random stranger on the street thinks you’re weird for pursuing a career path they don’t believe in? Does it matter if your friend disagrees with your way of life and thinking? None of these things matter since your decisions affect your life and determine if you feel good or bad about your life.

Laziness is an obstacle on the way to the goal

Feel your true calling. Things that make you feel like you have a purpose. What motivates you and makes you glad to be alive? What brings you happiness and makes you feel fulfilled? What drives you to wake up in the morning and get things done? This is how you should feel when you truly let go of other’s opinions of you and live as your true self. All you have to do is realize this and let go of other people’s opinions and expectations of you.

Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

Additional Info

I would always tip toe around issues to not offend others since I didn’t want them to view me negatively. I’ve learned to let that go since I no longer care if someone views me negatively. I’ve learned to be my true, authentic self, despite what others say. Many people think I’m weird, a fraud, and so on, but these people do not know my life and cannot judge it. They have no control over me since only I control myself.


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James Steele
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James Steele
September 10, 2021 3:38 PM

Autumn, thank you for posting this important article. It amazes me how many people feel that it’s appropriate to tell other people how they should live their lives. I deal with this every day. It’s one thing to offer up a suggestion or an alternative way of approaching something, but to flat out state that “you should do this” and then get upset when the person chooses to go a different way – boggles my mind.