Abandonment is a cycle where the person was abandoned as a child, and continues to deal with people who abandon them as an adult. This cycle is often not noticed by the person who was abandoned, and they will often blame themselves or others for what was done to them.

Man walking alone on rural misty asphalt road

Abandonment issues always start when someone is a child. They will often be neglected and abandoned by their parents and told they are unwanted, not liked, or even unloved. As the person ages, they will often take one of two different paths in life – abandon others or have others abandoned them.

The first option is to abandon others. This essentially means that the person will cut ties with friends before they get close enough to harm them. This is a defense mechanism that prevents them from being hurt since if they can abandon the other person first, then the perceived abandonment from the other person is non-existent.

The other option is that the person instead keeps attracting people into their life that abandons them, essentially like a magnet. They subconsciously choose people that will be unavailable and leave them. Once they have been abandoned by someone they called a friend or a romantic partner, they immediately seek out a new relationship to prevent themselves from feeling the pain of abandonment.

Either choice results in the cycle of abandonment where the person is left alone after interacting with people they called a friend. The person who subconsciously attracts people who abandons them often does so without realizing. While the person who pushes others away is aware of what they are doing, but may not know the reason why. These issues stem from childhood.

The person who attracts people who abandons them is because life is trying to educate the person on how to remedy the pain from childhood, but they are not paying attention or healing. Thus, they are doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. Same goes for the person who pushes people away, they may attract people who genuinely care for them, but cannot see it due to a perceived threat.

Since life is not linear, but rather cyclical, it’s understandable that there is a cycle of abandonment. To put it simply, the person who attracts others who abandons them does so due to past childhood trauma. Since we know that childhood trauma and things from the past repeat themselves, then that is where a different outcome can be taken. The person has attracted someone who will abandon them because it’s time to heal. They have to be abandoned by this person, intentionally, to heal. Why? Because that’s how healing is done. By being abandoned, they can choose a different outcome to proceed into the next phase of recovery. They don’t have to go back down that dark abandonment path, but can instead realize that they can learn and grow from those who abandon them.

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If you’ve been abandoned, give yourself some time to reflect back and realize that it is not your fault. Comfort your past self and inner child and realize that you are an amazing person capable of so much. The reason why you attract people into your life that abandon you, or even push them away before they abandon you, is because life is trying to help you. It’s teaching you a lesson to heal and grow from this experience to become stronger. Our biggest time for growth is by learning from negative experiences. So learn from the past, or else you’re doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again. Remember, the law of attraction can work in your favor by learning and growing to be the best version of yourself.

Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

Additional Info

I have dealt with abandonment issues since I was young. It was hard for me to deal with it as I always blamed myself. I thought it was all my fault. I kept pushing people away since I didn’t want to be hurt any longer. I finally let my guard down and trusted someone, but they then abandoned me. But, the outcome was different. I changed my attitude and learned from the experience and became stronger. From this experience, I no longer attracted those who abandoned me, but rather brought into my life genuine relationships. I clearly see the cycle now and know I was stuck in it for so long.

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