Hi everyone! This video is going to be about how you can help other people, for instance dealing with depression or other negative emotions and things they are struggling with. Helping someone when we see them struggling is often something many of us do by default. It comes naturally to us to offer assistance to someone in need. We may feel empathy, or even share the pain or struggle someone else is having and we want to help them get out of that negative situation. Sometimes we can relate and know how we got through it which may in turn help the other person through it. Or it may be nothing we have personal experience with, but may see things from a different perspective than the person that is struggling.
So, how can you help someone else? Well simply put, you need to realize that you cannot help others. There is nothing you can do to change someone’s thinking if they don’t want to help themselves. In other words, they have to be willing to help themselves first and foremost. Otherwise no amount of help you give them would be beneficial. For example, let’s take someone that is spending a lot of money on things they really don’t need. As a result, they are skipping house and car payments, and are to the point that they will soon lose their house. Someone tries to help them by getting them on a budget plan, making lists of what they can and cannot spend their money on. But, the person never follows through with it. The person spending all the money is stubborn and has no interest in changing their ways to better themselves, but instead are just doing their own thing. While it is important that the person live independently and follow their own wishes, they are trapping themselves in this negative space and not living to their full potential because of their choices. But, the person trying to help them, in a sense, is putting pressure on them to get on a schedule. They don’t accept this, so they will simply not change.
Which brings me to the next point, you cannot force your way of thinking upon someone else. They have to accept it themselves. We often see other people telling us what to do, especially if it’s negative, as criticism, like we are not living to our full potential and are doing things wrong, making us question our decisions. Like someone saying, “You should wear less makeup. You’re more beautiful without it.” They are trying to tell someone what to do and instill their way of thinking and views of the person into the person they are referring to. They may not mean it as disrespectful, but often time it comes across that way. While we cannot force someone else to view things and have the same opinions as we do, we often do not take into consideration that the same principle applies when trying to help someone.
We try to help them get to, not where they want to be, but how we want them to be, how we envision them in our mind. A classic example is a homeless person. People may feel bad for them because they live on the street and don’t have anything. Someone may give them money to help them, so they can turn their life around. But, for what reason are they giving them money? Is it giving the homeless person money so they can accomplish their own goals, or is it so the person offering the assistance can see the homeless person get to where they envision them to be, instead of what the homeless person wants? It is most often times the latter. Reason being, when you see someone that is not happy and struggling, you want them to be happy. And, you think that you can help by offering assistance so they are happy. But many times, the happiness is distorted since you may envision in your mind what would make them happy and try to get them there. But, it will not make them happy unless they are willing and want to be there. The only way to help others then is to let them be happy with themselves and follow their own path of happiness. It’s not about your vision of what may be happy for them, it’s about their own happiness, independent of you.
Which brings me to the next point, since you cannot force a way of thinking, what you can do to help someone then is to provide understanding and educate them so they can make the decisions that are appropriate for them. Allow them to be happy with themselves, expressing themselves freely, and make their own decisions that will get them towards their positive future goals. Instead of forcing a way of think they do not have and couldn’t implement so easily, educate them and allow them to understand themselves so they can help themselves. For instance, someone that is having anxiety when in public, educate them about anxiety. Let them know that they are not the only one that has it. And, be supportive and be there for them when they need to talk about what they are going through. But most important of all, teach them to analyze themselves when they are anxious. Teach them to help themselves when having anxiety so they are not dependent on you, or anyone else, to get them through it. This is imperative since there will be times that you will not always be there, so if you can educate them so they can help themselves during those times, then they will be able to properly handle their anxiety.
And lastly, the thing to note about helping others is that helping others should be about helping yourself. As well as it’s not your duty to help others. Your own happiness and health should come first. You shouldn’t have to try to help others. It should be something you enjoy doing and feels natural to you. You should feel good with yourself as a results, and also feel like you’ve learned and helped yourself in the process. It’s never your job to help someone else. You shouldn’t feel obligated to do so. If you have ten, if not more, people asking for your assistance, you will not be able to say ‘yes’ to all of them without sacrificing your own happiness and energy.
An example from my life, I get messages daily about people looking for advice, assistance, help, support, whatever else. I do what I can to reply to them, but I simply am not able to with everyone. Nor can I dedicate enough time to fully devote to everyone. There was a point when I dedicated more time, but it interfered with my own happiness and I was neglecting myself as a result. A better approach for me may be to dedicate more time on a very few individuals, versus a larger amount. But regardless, it’s about your own happiness. If you are not happy with what you are doing, then it’s simply not your path in life.
You can only make yourself happy and help yourself. Acknowledge that you cannot help others or change them, but instead you can help by providing understanding and education to others so they can follow their own path of happiness in life. Happiness comes from within, and you really only need yourself to be happy. I hope this video was informative and helpful. Thanks for watching!
I’ve always enjoyed helping other people. I think back when I hated myself, it was so I could feel a sense of happiness from helping another feel better, even thought I was still feeling bad. But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to realize that the most important person to help is myself. Once I was able to love and accept myself was when I was able to help other individuals do the same.