Hi everyone, I thought I’d answer some more of your questions and read back weird messages. Be sure to check the description to go to specific questions if needed.
Q: What time of day do you like the most and why?
A: I love the night and always have. I feel I have more energy and can accomplish more things.
Q: What is the best feeling in the world?
A: Accomplishment. Being proud and happy with my work and accomplishments.
Q: Piano or guitar?
A: I’ve always loved the piano. Even learned a bit when I was younger but have no idea how to play, but would love to get back into that.
Q: Do you have a favorite holiday, if yes; which one?
A: Halloween of course. All the other ones are like…ehhh…don’t really like them. I also like New Year’s since it’s the fresh start.
Q: Do you like candy?
A: Nope. It’s rare that I eat things like that. It also just hurts my teeth so I try to avoid it. If I did though, it would be best if it was natural, organic, or had some nutritional value.
Q: What would you do if the internet didn’t exist?
A: Continue about my life as usual. Doing the same thing, but without the Internet.
Q: Do you sleep with socks on or off?
A: Depends. If it’s very cold, then yes I do. Otherwise, no I don’t. Or if they are annoying, I don’t.
Q: Do you like coffee?
A: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Q: What is your favorite movie, if any?
A: I don’t really watch movies to be honest. But, my favorites have to be Inland Empire and Mulholland Dr., as well as some stupid comedy movies, like the ‘Scary Movie’ series.
Q: Do you see yurself ever getting married?
A: Marriage is not important to me in the slightest. If I was in a relationship with someone, it would not mean anything more or less if we were married. So, the answer then is, it doesn’t matter to me.
Q: Did you loose a lot of weight since before your vegetarian diet??
A: I’ve always had difficulty keeping weight on. I remember when I use to eat 3,000 calories a day and I just wouldn’t gain a pound.
Q: Would you forgive your bullies?
A: Yes, forgiveness is key. It can be difficult for people to forgive people that have abused and caused them the struggles they are facing even today, but it’s important at letting go of the past. It may be difficult, but I am making progress to not hold that grudge and forgive people for what they have done to me.
Q: AREN T YOU AFRAID THAT WITH TIME YOUR BROWS WILL GROW THICKER AND THICKER WITH THE SHAVING. WHY DO YOU not pluck? besides the pain.
A: Well, I don’t see how they could grow back thicker with just shaving. But, plucking is not a good alternative since it will damage the hair follicle over time and they may not be able to ever grow back.
Q: In one of your previous Q&A Videos someone asked you if you spoke other languages. You said no but you would like to learn Japanese Danish and Persian, why those languages?
A: I think it is mostly music related. Also, ever since I was little I always have been fascinated by Japanese things. So, that is my number one language I would want to learn about.
Q: upon seeing your video about your male to female transformation, you mentioned that you had to find your “style.” As a member myself of the goth community/subculture, what brought you into the proposed style? What aspects did you find from it comfortable? Is it the subculture’s open armed acceptance of everything? How did you come around to finding it?
A: Well, I have to say I’ve always kinda been like this. Just my interests, style, many other things. It’s always been me. But, after transitioning, I experimented with different styles and I loved all of it until I found a darker style that I feel like myself in. It’s that feeling when you know you are expressing yourself and not caring what other’s think of your physical appearance, and that is immediately what happened when I found my style.
Q: How do you feel about other people taking medication to help treat their mental illness?
A: While I personally do not believe in medication, and advise others to research and understand what they are getting themselves into before committing to taking medication, I think if it can help someone get to the point of being able to properly cope and overcome the issues, then I think it would be fine. Like someone going into it with all intent of it being temporary and having a goal of not being on it in the long-term. But, the moment it becomes dependent upon for relieving symptoms is where the problem lies. Main reason being, if someone is depressed and are hurting themselves and then they take medication to combat the depression, perhaps the moment they begin to feel depressed they take medication. Then that becomes their coping mechanism. And, that is the problem.
Q: Do you feel it can be harmful to give out advice about mental illness to others without the proper education and training?
A: Legitimate question since I am no trained expert. I think the primary thing to note is that everyone deals with mental health problems differently, as well as has unique experiences. With that being said, my teachings and ways of coping will not work for everyone. If someone doesn’t like what I have to say, it will not help them. But if they incorporate my teachings and ways into their life, then it will help them. In other words, the person resonates with my teachings. The information I give out is not wrong or incorrect, but some people may view it as such because it doesn’t work for them.
Q: Do you think it is better to be aware of any mental disorders you have or is it better to remain unaware?
A: I know from my experience, it was bad at first. For one, I started to question myself, I went into panic mode, was a hypochondriac, self-diagnosing, whatever else. Because of that fear I had, and constantly thinking about what I may or may not have, it made it worse. But when I worked through that and got to a more stable place, I became aware of what I was experiencing and could address that not only with my therapist, but more importantly, myself. When one can learn to be introspective and identify what they want to change, then they can heal. Since the most important factor is that the answer comes from within and you can overcome any obstacle yourself as long as you put your mind to it.
Q: I was wondering if disorganized speech could influence how someone uses grammar. Can it involve stuttering and repetition of words as well, or would that be considered pressured speech?
A: I’m sure it can, absolutely. Speaking from experience, there are times when my thoughts are just scattered everywhere and I just cannot talk straight. I’ve always had a stuttering problem my entire life, but it really shows during these moments. As well as me not being able to get my words out correctly. Instead of saying, “The oven is on.” I may say, “The pharmacy is over the fence.” I just can’t get out the correct words and people don’t know what I’m talking about. And, it’s not fun. It’s quite frustrating actually.
Q: Is it possible for a person to be deemed a schizophrenic if they display all of the symptoms but hallucinations?
A: This would probably fall on the schizophrenia spectrum. There are other disorders such as schizoaffective disorder that incorporate other elements into schizophrenia which it possibly could be.
Q: What’s your view on the majority of mental health professionals who now believe that there is no such thing as DID?
A: That’s understandable since not many people, especially if you’ve never experienced dissociation, understands it. The way I explain it to people is to compare it to something they know and are familiar with. Like driving a car for a long period of time and suddenly realizing you are home, or reading a book and hours pass when it only seems like a short while. The element of time distortion. Then I think people can understand it a bit better.
Q: What does it feel like when you switch to another personality? Is it more like each personality having a different set of emotions and thought patterns but still with an awareness of who you really are, or do you really see them as different beings with their own seperate minds?
A: It depends, and it differs for everyone. I know for me, usually the ones that I feel are destructive to me, are the ones that are harder to deal with. It feels like I am watching myself behave a certain way but have no control. Or other times not even there. It can be a forced control. For instance, one of these personalities could completely take me over and usually that would result in confusion, frustration, headaches, and just negative feelings.
Q: If you could take medication that would make you comfortable with the gender you started as would you choose that over getting a sex change?
A: No, because then it would be taking medication and suppressing what I really am.
Q: what are your thoughts on other trans personalities on youtube? have you met any of them in person or are friends with any of them?
A: No, I am not friends with any nor have communicated with any other trans people on YouTube. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t watched plenty of trans people on YouTube, because yes, of course I have. I’ve seen many people on YouTube, some I watch a few things here and there. There were a few people that I watched back in 2010 to 2012 that transitioned and had surgeries and they were so helpful when I was transitioning.
Q: Since you talked about not being able to reproduce, while male did you ever consider saving some of your sperm in a sperm bank to have a biological child in the future? Or would you rather adopt a child if you wanted one?
A: I would rather adopt if I wanted children. But, I simply do not want any kids.
Q: What did you have done with your hands? The index/ring finger tips to the middle show the hand of a genetic female.
A: Fascinating question and was one that several people were mentioning around the same time. I believe this is how my hands have always been, index finger being longer than the ring finger. If they haven’t always been this way, then perhaps they changed at some point during transition. I don’t know, it’s just how they are.
Weird message time. The first is:
WM: Can you fit your whole hand in your mouth?
A: I’m not sure about this question.
WM: TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: Lucky I am not triggered by exclamation marks.
WM: U scared my kids lol..
WM: it all adds up to one deeply disturbed individual….
WM: Thanks for deceiving my boner… wait its still there O.o
WM: Penis detected.
WM: I didn’t finish the whole video coz all im hearing/seeing is merely a report on the disorder rather than any proof of him having a the disorder….too boring to watch this til the end…boo!!! And it is too obvious she is reading on it in front of her,,
A: The message itself isn’t weird, but let’s analyze it. It first begins with calling me a ‘he,’ but then switches to ‘she’ by the end.
WM: SHe is fake, all of them are
A: If I was fake, then all of them wouldn’t even exist.
WM: Well, the maker of this video CLEALY isn’t faking a mental disorder It’s obviously quite real.
A: Sarcasm noted.
WM: You need to smoke a bong or have Jesus in your life or something
WM: Exorcist the demons!!!!!!!!!!!
WM: Have an exorcism done. Thank me later
WM: I HAVE SO MANY PERSONALITIES AND DISORDERS! EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!
A: Sounds like a problem you need to address, buddy.
WM: I remember when eyebrows were a thing that happened.
A: So do I…so do I. I remember…I remember.
WM: Are those eye brows CGI?
A: Well yeah! I’ve already admitted in a previous video that I go through each frame of the video to put these eyebrows on.
On a very, very related note to the previous weird message. This is a conversation amongst three different people. Though, it’s mostly just person #1 and #3 that are talking.
Person #1: It’s total bull. The fake cartoon supervillain laugh, the little slip ups that indicate a script, the over-acting, the fact that it’s in an edited video. Totally fake.
Person #2: Changing makeup each and every time as well. That was special.
Person #1: Yet the eyebrows remained perfectly consistent with each “alter.” As if all of her personalities love the same kind of drawn on eyebrows.
Person #3: she has admitted to putting on her “eyebrows” frame by frame as she edits them in with some kind of program. they are not actually there, she adds them in after when editing.
Person #1: You understand that that doesn’t help her case right? I also don’t believe it. That kind of fakeness would be quite noticeable as, unless she’s an editing genius, the eyebrows would displace every time she moves. Either that, or she spends ungodly amounts of time editing, which also doesn’t help her case.
Person #3: she spends hours editing frame by frame. ya it doesn’t help her case. i pointed it out because its another aspect of fakeness
Person #1: That’s quite a bit of work to go through. She oozes phony out of her pores. I seriously cringed when she got to that sexual one.
Person #3: i’m subbed to her because I keep an eye on people, especially if I think they are going to try and fraud the community. she’s done several videos with her “alters”. from her videos i have learned that she is transgender post op, lesbian with 6 personalities who lives with her grandparents.. that is what i’ve learned via her videos. and it was in a Q&A that she admitted to doing her eyebrows frame by frame until they were perfect
Person #1: She’s really just a huge fraud, that’s the only thing that really matters in the end.
Person #3: very true
A: Oh my gosh this is the best!! It’s like you are being serious and yet not at the same time. Like you took the joke I made when someone said that my eyebrows looked digitally applied and actually thought I was being serious.
[I go through each frame of the video and put these eyebrows on. See these? They don’t actually exist. I use computer software to generate them.]
But you knew it wasn’t real so you twisted the story to make it seem like I was being serious. Oh, this is too good. And you call me a fraud, yet that’s exactly what you’re doing. This is just the best! Skewing things out of proportion. It doesn’t make me look bad, it just makes an interesting conversation for later. And since you are, or were, a subscriber, and if you are watching this…nothing, I have nothing to say to you.
So, that’s all for now. Thanks for watching!