Who are Cyberbullies & Why Do They Bully | My Cyberbullying Experience
Cyberbullies are people that use the Internet and social media to harass their victims to boost the ego of their ‘false self,’ a front they put on to make it seem like they are superior. When in actuality, they may view themselves as inferior and have problems with self-worth.
—CHAPTERS— 4:48 – Who Are Cyberbullies 9:16 – My Experience
Hi everyone! This video is going to be about bullying, specifically cyberbullying. I will discuss who cyberbullies are as well as my experience. I have a video dedicated to bullying in general that I’ll have an annotation and a link in the description. [Bullying] When someone is bullied in school and feels like an outcast, they may feel like the Internet is a safe place for them, free from judgement. However, this unfortunately is just not the case. Cyberbullying is very specific in nature as it hasn’t always been around and an increasing number of people are resorting to the Internet and social media to take out their anger and problems on other people. You are not face to face with the bully and may not even know who they are. If you spend any amount of time on the Internet, you have probably encountered a cyberbully. Perhaps you have been cyberbullied, but you may have seen someone being bullied in some online discussion or thread.
Cyberbullies can create fake online profiles of people they know from school or online to get others that know the person to stop being friends to cause even more harm to the individual being bullied. They can be known or unknown in this regards. What I mean is, someone who is a bully at school may go home on the Internet and bully the same person they do in class. Or, it’s even possible that the very person doing the bullying at school could be being cyberbullied by that individual at home, anonymous. If that was the case, then the cycle of abuse is direct. A bully at school is a victim at home to the same person they bully at school which bullies their bully at home. In other words, they are bullying one another in different situations and are repeating the abuse being done to them onto one another. They are essentially bullying themselves.
It can sometimes involve multiple cyberbullies. Let’s say for example a person at school is being harassed by a group of kids. They don’t just stop there, they go online, social media, and get more and more people to target their victim. This leads the person being bullied to feel as though everyone at the school is against them. This can get so severe to the point where the victim may become very depressed and even suicidal.
The only way of stopping the cycle of abuse is to not return it. By returning abuse that had been done to you and holding a grudge, you are essentially repeating the very thing onto others that you do not wish to have done to yourself. In other words, by returning the abuse that had been done to you, you open yourself up to attract the very abuse you are spreading. Abuse is not something that should be passed along, but rather let go of. If you can find a way of releasing it so you are not hurting yourself or anyone else, then you know you are on the right track to reducing how the bullies have control over you. Also, focusing positively on where you want to be and associating with those individuals that align with your perspective is another element that needs to be considered.
If you see someone being cyberbullied, help them out in someway. That doesn’t necessarily mean aggravating the bully so they do even more harm, but find a way of helping the victim get out of the negative situation and be in a positive one. Have a conversation with them and understand how deeply they have been affected by the bullying and offer support where needed.
Due to the anonymity of a majority of cyberbullies, you have no way of knowing who they are, what they look like, or much of anything else about them. Many hide behind a screen name with no real pictures, videos, or info about them. But, why is that? I’ll discuss that now.
Who Are Cyberbullies
Just who are cyberbullies and what are their motives and reasoning for bullying? Well, they are essential online bullies. People who harass others on the Internet, social media, but for what gain? Well, it’s quite simple. Often times when someone is feeling bad about themselves, low self esteem, low self worth, depressed, whatever other negative energy they are harboring, there is always a coping mechanism, which is not always a positive one. Some people may project what they are feeling onto themselves by self-harming, while others may return the abuse and negative energy onto others so they feel superior and the people they are bullying feel inferior. Kind of like them projecting how they are feeling onto others so others know what they are feeling. They feel negative, and they project that.
A cyberbully is mostly anonymous. Not all are, but many are because they often feel bad with themselves and shameful of who they are and the way they are feeling. So, they create fake online profiles with no info or exaggerated info to make it seem like they are at the top, when in actuality their perception of themselves is very low and negative. It’s the same as narcissists where you see a front of a person who thinks they are all great and superior to everyone, but deep inside them is a core that is very fragile and damaged. That is what needs to be addressed and nurtured in order for positive progress to be made. That is who they often are at a deep level.
Anyone can be a cyberbully and you may not even know it. Bullying is a coping mechanism that these people use. They may have a bad day, they go online and harass someone and put them down. An example is someone who had a rough day at work, people getting on their nerves. They come home, take their anger and frustrations out on someone else. Even if it’s only once, it’s still cyberbullying and harassment if it’s done online.
What many people do not understand is that many cyberbullies, and bullies in general, want a response from someone. They post hateful nasty things for anyone to see to get other people to give them attention and reply to them. Most of the time it is a negative response, but they want this because they feel they are superior and will argue the point across to harass others, further boosting the ego of their ‘false self.’ By giving in to them and reacting the way they want, you are essentially contributing to their behavior.
Essentially, who cyberbullies portray themselves as are people who are perhaps narcissists with a superiority complex. Ones that are attention seekers that need to be at the top of everything because they are right and you are wrong, or so they think. But, at the deepest level, you need to understand who they really are. They are often hurt, fragile individuals that make up for their perceived inferiority and vulnerability by creating a perceived superior ego. In essence, they feel at the bottom, so they be someone that essentially drains the energy from others in a negative fashion to boost a false self they create.
The only way of helping them is to understand who they are at the deepest level and addressing the root cause of their pain that is causing them to bully, insult, harass, and get others down. Once that can be addressed, given enough time they can improve and develop positive coping mechanisms.
Now I will discuss my personal experience with cyberbullies over the years, and more importantly, in the current moment since I deal with them much more frequently nowadays. I’ve dealt with them for a long time. When I was bullied in school, there was a kid that made a fake profile on MySpace of me. I wasn’t interested in the site or social media of any kind. Yet, he made a profile with false info about me and added people from my classes. So, that was very difficult for me. The way I handled it was politely sent a message to MySpace saying someone made a fake profile of me, and they deleted it. I didn’t say anything to the kid when he asked if I deleted it since I knew he would repeat the process.
That was the earliest time I was cyberbullied, but that was also back when less people had access to the Internet. It certainly has amplified since then, primarily on YouTube. Anyone can comment and say whatever they like, so this should come as no surprise. I get hateful things sent to me multiple times a day. Some people say, “You should kill yourself,” to going into great detail about my life and how I am not being honest and what not. Some people go to great lengths and will comment multiple times, usually replying to several people to tell them how much of a fraud I am.
What I find the most ironic though are those that call me an attention seeker. If you call me an attention seeker, and watch my videos or share my videos, then guess what? You are giving me attention. It makes no sense since you are doing the same exact thing you are accusing me of. It’s the people calling me an attention seeker, that are in fact seeking attention themselves since they see someone they think they can take easy advantage of and a whole bunch of people will join in to give them that attention.
What I personally do about this is, well I address the behavior. People call me an attention seeker, I think about it, analyze it, and discuss it to help others. You know what, I am an attention seeker, but I use it to help people, not harm them. I talk about myself, I analyze myself, and I use examples from my life to benefit people. Simple as that.
And lastly an interesting story of major harassment I faced multiple times has been when one of my videos has been shared. The people involved generally share it to reddit, usually in the ‘cringe’ category, but it has also appeared in the ‘Tumblr in action’ category. A majority of the people who share it are simply saying that I am faking having mental disorders and mocking those that truly suffer. Practically saying, “Look at this attention seeker.” While at the same time giving me the attention.
Let’s analyze this situation shall we? They claim I am mocking those that suffer with “real” mental disorders. Yet, they are mocking me, someone with a real mental disorder. Hypothetically speaking, even if I was faking everything for attention and sympathy, is that not a mental disorder in itself? So, they contradict themselves and it’s the exact things they claim I am, that they are in fact doing. So why should I spend any amount of time letting their words affect me? It’s simple, I’m not.
They attack the video quite viciously may I add. I can tell right away since I start getting a lot of views, dislikes, and comments that are all relatively the same. I go over to reddit or view my analytics to see where the traffic is coming from. I search for the video on reddit and sure enough there it is. The first time it happened, I was on the verge of committing suicide. I mean, I was about ready to do it right then and there. But, I got through it and it no longer affects me. But, they still leave behind a trail. The two highest days they shared my content I had a massive increase in views, but also an astronomical amount of dislikes.
Here is a graph showing overall dislikes on all my videos combined during the entire time I have been making videos, at least until the video I am making right now is posted. As you can see, there are huge outliers here where the people from reddit came over and disliked it, instantly, without even watching it or understanding it. I use to care, but I don’t care anymore since if someone cannot take the time to actually get to understand someone before making a very biased claim, then it’s not worth my time obsessing over and becoming depressed. I have no control over what these people do so I’m not going to let it bother me.
To add a bit of a twist to this story, these people also throw around the word ‘Tumblr’ a lot. Tumblr, if you are not familiar, is a blogging website, and I’m sure it has much more to it, but that’s really all I know. I don’t use it, nor am I even the slightest bit interested in using it. It’s for setting up a blog about yourself or a topic. But apparently, there is some kind of rumor or stigma or whatever, that people think everyone on Tumblr is a fake, fraud, attention seeking, many times if you are talking about mental health on your blog. So, these reddit people compare me to the people on Tumblr, saying I’m “Tumblr scum,” and that I should go back to Tumblr and be around all the other fakes and attention seekers.
Now, I highly doubt everyone on Tumblr being what the reddit people claim is fake. But regardless, the fascinating point is, said Tumblr people have even shared my video over there and said the exact same thing as the reddit people. So, you have the reddit people and the Tumblr people. And while the reddit people dislike the Tumblr people since they are supposedly fake, they both share the same perspective on me, that I am fake. Yet, both groups behave the exact same way. They contradict themselves by saying I’m making fun and that my perspective and ways of coping are incorrect. They put words in my mouth that I never said or even agree with.
It’s fascinating to me since here you have two different communities that may not get along, yet share the same perspective. But said perspective, while it is strictly opinion, it doesn’t add up and contradicts itself. What I mean is, they may say everyone handles situations differently and has unique experiences, yet when they see someone that handles it differently, it’s automatically discredited. They repeat the cycle of abuse that had been done to them. In other words, the Tumblr people are called fake and attention seeking. They then return that negative feeling they have of what others had said to them unto me.
It’s the cycle of abuse. And as was mentioned earlier, the only way the cycle can stop, is if you stop it by not repeating abuse that had been done to you, but instead spreading positivity so another individual that is in the cycle of abuse, can get out of it. That is my goal and what I am living to do. You bully me, I don’t return it to anyone else, not even myself, though I am still working on that, and instead I channel that negative energy to grow, learn, educate, and help others in similar situations. That is my unique perspective on the matter.
So in conclusion, cyberbullies are people that use the Internet and social media to harass their victims to boost their ego. But, the ego they are inflating is often a front they put on to make it seem like they are superior. When in actuality, they often view themselves as inferior and have problems with self-worth. A way of handling a cyberbully if you ultimately want to help them is to learn who they are and why they are the way that they are so you can nurture their true ego state that is fragile and vulnerable. The one they hide to protect themselves. I hope this video was informative. Thanks for watching!
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While most of my bullying in the past was not online, most these days is online. This comes as no surprise since I share so much of myself online so it’s more of me for people to make fun of. While most of it doesn’t affect me these days, it still happens and will continue to happen and there is nothing I will do differently. In fact, it’s the bullying, or just negativity in general, that will allow me to learn and grow.
My name is Autumn Asphodel and I am a motivator and coach to help others live a better life through natural means, hard work, and dedication. After overcoming my own obstacles in life, such as trauma and abuse, and struggling with my gender identity, I embarked on the path of self-healing and am teaching others how they can do the same to overcome hard times in their own life.