Did you know that the lack of love for yourself is the cause of many of your problems? Yes, this is very true. If you have love for yourself, you see the world differently than if you dislike and hate yourself. So, if you do not like the person you are, we’re going to talk about why it is so important to respect and love yourself, and why this is the root of most of your problems.

text I love me in a heart-shaped sign

Let’s first make this clear, the love you have for yourself doesn’t make you narcissistic or selfish. For you see, we only have ourselves. We may have family and friends, but we are in control of our lives and how our mind functions. What we let get us down will drag us down, and what we let lift us up will let us rise up. It’s all about perception.

Many people in the world do not like who they are. They may dislike their appearance, physical attributes, thought process, ideas, and so on. There are numerous things that go through our mind as to what we don’t like about ourselves. We each have things we don’t like about ourselves and feel insecure about. This is perfectly normal. But when we are driven by hatred of ourselves, then we know this is a problem we must face.

This is a tough question, but what are the things you don’t like about yourself? Is it something materialistic or about your physical appearance? Or is it something deeper? Is it due to past issues you’ve faced, or something new that has come up? Whatever it is, the best thing you can do is address these concerns seriously and confidently.

Body shame vector isolated illustration. Fat woman ashamed

Many people who have self-hatred have an internalized abuser from their past. When a child is abused, that abuser remains with them to remind them later in life how worthless they are. Often abusers instill hatred into those they are abusing. This creates doubt within the person’s mind that prevents them from seeing the positivity they possess, because their abuser has essentially taken that from them.

Whatever the cause of you hating an aspect of yourself is, the moment you can address it is when healing can happen. But if you continue to dislike or even hate yourself, it instills fear and doubt in your mind that prevents positive intentions being put into your tasks. With negative intentions put into your work comes negative outcomes, which creates a vicious cycle of hatred towards oneself.

So how then can you truly learn to love yourself? This is not an easy task for those who hate themselves, but I’ve personally been there and understand the self hatred and managed to truly love the person I am. So, this is possible. So, remove the doubt from your mind and approach this with positive intentions.

Happy woman rise hand on morning view.

The first thing to do is separate the negative from the positive. Keep a list of what you dislike and what you like about yourself. If you claim to not like anything about yourself, reflect on things you are good at and enjoy. Surely you have skills and talents, so make them shine and write each one down. For the ones you dislike about yourself, you’ll need to tackle each one individually.

Some of the things you dislike about yourself may be physical traits. Understand that we are the most critical of ourselves, so to a degree this is normal. However, if you are calling yourself names, talking down on yourself, then realize that what you think of yourself is what you attract. You may not like something, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change it.

You may often compare yourself to others, which means you feel you are not good enough how you presently are. This too needs to be changed because you have all the love you’ll ever need within you. You are no one else and will never be anyone else.

Sometimes we are so insecure that we may even think everyone else will look at our flaws. This is also untrue. Do you look for every little flaw in someone? Most people don’t, nor even see it unless they are close with the person. Imagine a physical flaw you have, that you personally hate. You think everyone is going to look at that flaw and make fun of you? It’s highly unlikely. Probably most people won’t even see it or care about it. Thus, it’s only a problem to you. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what others think that we realize that they don’t really care about what we dislike about ourselves. Most people are so wrapped up in how they are viewed and perceived by us that our flaws don’t even cross their mind.

It may take time to look in the mirror and see the positive instead of the negative, but it is possible in time, so be patient. You cannot rush these things. But, another technique I’ve personally used is breathing exercising combined with meditation. Take deep breaths while visualizing positive energy entering your body and displacing the negativity you have within your mind and body. Inhale the positivity and exhale the negativity. Actually see the negativity moving out as the love enters your body. Don’t underestimate the power of this exercise. It’s very powerful and you can even have tears of joy as you are feeling more connected with yourself.

By loving yourself, you will find the true happiness that has existed within you all this time. This love will empower you to be the best you can be. Strive each day to do what’s best and step out of your comfort zone so you can learn and grow.

Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

Additional Info

I hated myself so much in the past, and I’ve managed, over many years, to be happier than I’ve ever been. This took years of therapy, retraining my mind slowly to like the things I hated the most, as well as practice mindfulness to realize that true happiness comes from within. Nothing external was going to make me happy, so I had to reflect inward to realize what I was worth.


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