As we go throughout our lives, we are always comparing ourselves to others. Wondering what others think of us and how we can present a positive image so others like us. Most of us do this without realizing it. We deeply care how we come across, and how others perceive us. If we are approached by someone who was offended by something we said or did, we often take that as a personal attack on us, and can even dwell on it as we set out on a plan to carefully change how we present ourselves to others in hopes we don’t offend anyone.

Woman comparing

The truth is, we will make people angry, sad, but also happy. We will have fans and enemies, regardless of how we present ourselves. So why not just be true to who we really are? This is because once we open up about ourselves, it makes us vulnerable and an attack on that vulnerable aspect of ourselves feels worse than a persona we have created to take the hit.

So how can we stop caring what others think? To a degree we can’t since on some level, negativity will impact us. This is normal. But obsessing over it and preventing our true selves from shining is where issues come into play.

To truly not care what others think is largely about your own self-confidence. Do you consider yourself a confident person? If not, then that’s the first place to start since the moment you stand firm by who you are and what you believe in, changing for no one but yourself, then you develop confidence.

Strong African woman with painted muscles

Second, do you obsess more over the negative than look at the positive? If you said ‘yes,’ then that too is normal. We see the negative as more of a threat as it impacts us deeper. It takes more positives to cancel out negatives. So shift your focus to what empowers you instead of what brings you down. This includes what you hear from others, such as comments and remarks, but most import of all, how you perceive yourself and criticism.

negative thinking and posifitive life

One of the most beneficial tactics I’ve personally found that helps me eliminate negativity I receive is to take deep breaths and visualize the negative within my body, it is generally a dark thick cloud. I then move that out of my body, and out the window where the sunlight melts off the darkness and turns it into positivity. After I’ve gotten it all out, I then visualize positive energy entering my body from my head all the way down my entire body that promotes happiness and freedom of expression.

Another tactic I employed was by observing what brought me down. I would post content online and look at the negativity, the awful comments, dislikes, and so on. But, I got to a point where it no longer bothered me. How? Because I either didn’t look at it, or instead looked at the positive response. But what if the positive response was lower than the negative? This is where I decided to not look at it at all. Am I really going to let numbers determine how I feel about myself and limit my freedom of speech? No, so if you are also someone who fears they cannot be themselves, even online, then stop looking at the numbers. They are not important.

Learn to let your voice be heard. Your voice is valuable and you have every right to express your thoughts and ideas. Would you rather live in fear of what others say and not have freedom of speech, or would you rather be able to speak your mind no matter what?

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Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!

Additional Info

I was someone who obsesses over the negativity. I could not see the positive of what was going on. But, once I focused on myself and realized that my voice is valuable, then I stood up for what I believed in. It was hard at first since I wasn’t confident with my opinions and thought they were wrong because many people criticized me. It was even hard to speak up in person without anxiety and fear of what others would say and how they would view me. But, that’s where my strength came in. I transformed that criticism into positivity to allow myself to be free.

I was even at a point where I would constantly look online at negative comments, dislikes, views, all numbers and things that weren’t really important. So this is when I decided to block it all. I would look at comments all the time, like I was obsessed, as well as my view count, subscribers, likes and dislikes, but then I was unable to due to the blocking I did. How can I obsess over something I cannot see? It took some time to get used to, but am glad I did since is it really all that important what Johnny from Utah living in his mother’s basement thinks of me? No, so why should I let it affect me? I won’t!


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