Aromantic is a term used to describe people who do not experience romantic attraction. Much like the term asexual, which referes to people who do not experience sexual attraction, aromantic means the person does not feel a romantic attraction to others, and thus will not pursue a romantic relationship.
To understand what aromantic is, we must first understand what romance is. To a non-aromantic person, there could be a cookie-cutter definition of what romance is. It is a feeling inside that is different from the one you have towards friends and family. This feeling sparks the need to get to know the person, spend time with them, hold their hand, and even be physically involved with them.
Sexual attraction and desires are a natural part of the human experience due to the primal need to reproduce. Romance on the other hand is an evolutionary trait used to bond people to help continue a life together in this physical domain. At the deepest root of both of these is the need for a bond with others and social interactions. Since humans are social creatures, they desire a bond with others in one way or another. When this bond is deprived, often mental instability ensues.
It is possible to be sexually attracted to someone, yet not romantically attracted to them. Just as it’s possible to be romantically attracted to someone, yet not sexually attracted to them. Or you could experience both or neither. This is simply the diversification of the physical self in this physical domain, to experience a diverse array of sexual and romantic interests.
One can be aromantic, yet be in a relationship. It comes down to what you consider to be romantic activities and gives you the feeling of romance inside that makes you either a romantic or aromantic.
The reason why someone is aromantic and isn’t romantically attracted to others isn’t often clear. For each person, the reason can differ. Some people may think that because they haven’t met the right person yet, that they are aromantic. However, this isn’t necessarily the case since the type of person one is looking for may not have come into the picture yet, and thus this label can and will change.
Other possible causes can be the lack of experience with relationships and social interactions in general. Or even possible past issues and trauma that have caused the person to want to be shut off from others.
If you don’t find those to be the case, and you do have the desire for social interactions and being close with others, yet have not felt a romantic attraction to anyone, then it is very likely that you could be aromantic. This is not a problem, unless you view it as such. You cannot and should not force yourself to feel romantic towards others. Embrace who you are and let things come to you without resistance and life will be much simpler.
Let me know how this works for you. Have a great day!
As someone who is not aromantic, I found this to be a fascinating topic to understand others who do not experience romantic attraction. While I personally have and still do for the most part with the right people, I have never considered myself to be attracted to most people, for one reason or another. It takes a very specific type of person to catch my interest, and that is often rare.
Prior to having close friends in my life, I found myself wondering if the person I just met could have romantic potential. This all changed once I was able to connect with others that truly understand me. Furthermore, my busy schedule often prevents me from seeking out romantic opportunities. Instead, I allow them to come and go into my life. People come and go all the time, and I learn and grow from them. If that is all that was meant to be, then I’ll take what I learned to better myself and my life.