Hi everyone! In this video I’m going to be talking about the negative aspects of being transgender / transsexual. Personally, I don’t think there is anything pleasant about being born in the wrong body. That is not fun. The only positive thing I see is when you transition and finally begin to love yourself and live the life you were always meant to live. This intense happiness and confidence is not something that everyone gets to experience, so it is quite amazing. The only other semi-positive thing I could think of is that not many people get to live as both sexes. Even if you don’t have surgery, your lifestyle changes and you present yourself to the world as one gender, then switch to the one that you identity with. That is very fascinating.
Unhappiness & Self-Hatred
So, what is so bad about being a transsexual? Well, one big thing is that prior to transitioning, someone is very unhappy with themselves, with like no confidence at all. The suicide rate for transgender people is very high. Personally, I was so reserved to the point where I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I was so silent because I had zero confidence in myself, hated who I was, dissociated from who I was, creating a blurred sense of identity, not really knowing who I was, no personality. This, for me at least, was the worst part of being trans.
When I was living as a male, I didn’t see my life getting better at all. Since I started living full-time at around age 22, I felt like I missed out on the first 22 years of my life. What would my life be if I wasn’t trans, and could live, from the moment I was born, as the person I truly was on the inside? I’ll never know. But, I am glad that I was able to transition as early as I did since many people don’t transition until later in life, which can be a really upsetting thing. But, the happiness that comes from transitioning is so amazing and in the end it is so worth it. I have no regrets and am living as the person I was always meant to be. I may have missed out on the first 22 years of my life, but if it wasn’t for the male individual that I was, I would not be the same person I am today, and thus probably not happy with myself.
Judgement & Misunderstanding
Another big downside is that when you begin to come out to people that you are trans, they may not understand and take it the wrong way. When someone comes out as gay, a lot more people understand what being gay is versus being transgender. A lot of people don’t know what transgender is. Others just don’t get why a man would want to be a woman or a woman would want to be a man. Especially if your inside identity is gay or lesbian.
People don’t get why a male that is a female on the inside and is attracted to women, making them a lesbian, would transition at all. This is because people try to group being transgender in with sexual orientation. People who are trans can have any sexual orientation, so why do people say that it is not right for a trans woman to be a lesbian, or a trans man to be gay? That doesn’t make sense.
Many individuals lose a lot of people in their life when they come out. They put a lot at risk just be themself, but others don’t see it that way. They may lose friends, relationships, even family. That really sickens me because if they truly love the trans individual, even as a friend, they would always be there for them, no matter what.
Other people find transgender people sick. I don’t just mean that they think they are mentally ill, because many people do, even though I do not believe transsexualism is a mental illness. Rather these people think it is weird, gross, and disgusting for someone to change their sex. It doesn’t matter how much you pass, they’ll still think it’s sick. These people can be very abusive. There is a lot of hate crimes against transgender people. It’s very risky being transgender.
I find it so disrespectful when people find out someone is trans, and they change the pronouns. What is that about? For example, someone who is a male to female, born a male and is now a full-time female. They are 100% passable, perhaps even more feminine than many other cisgender females. In other words, no one would ever suspect they were born a boy. People use ‘she’ and ‘her’ pronouns, which is the correct thing to do. Then when they find out this individual is trans and was born a male, they start saying ‘he’ and ‘him.’ Why? The person is a female, identifies as female, looks like a female, sounds like a female, and acts like a female, and was being referred to as female. Then all of a sudden people find out and change it to masculine pronouns. That makes no sense to me. That is incredibly insulting too because those people aren’t seeing this female as a female any longer. Once they find out, they see her as a guy. That’s just…I just don’t get that.
I don’t know too much about female to males, but I know that with male to females, people, especial men, can look at them as some kind of fetish. When a male to female tells a guy they are trans, one of three things can happen. They can either be completely turned off by the idea and not want to associate with the trans woman. They can be neutral, and not really care because they accept the trans woman for who she is, not what she is. Or, they see it as some kind of fetish that turns them on. Hey, if that’s what you’re into then fine, but the trans woman is being objectified to fulfill the guys fantasy. These guys like a girl with a penis, a chick with a dick is what they call it. If the trans woman has had SRS, they wouldn’t want them. They want the male genitals attached to the female body. Alright. Theses are people that I would avoid altogether.
As a lesbian, when communicating with women, I’ve never encountered the fetish aspect of it, but there have been plenty of females that I would talk with online and when I told them I was trans, they would be like, “Ohhh…ok.” And, I’d never hear from them again. They were no longer interested because they didn’t accept me as a female any longer. I did a video dedicated to my relationship experience if you would like to check that out. [Dating & Relationships] Anyway, relationships for a trans person can be very difficult because not many people are actually open to dating a trans person. More times than not, they are turned off by the idea which can be very frustrating for some individuals who want a relationship.
Another downside is the expenses associated with transitioning. There is clothing, therapy, hormones, and surgery. They are all very expensive things. Clothing is the only one that will not be covered by insurance. Clothes are very expensive. I had to change my entire wardrobe, and after a year and a half I finally have a decent amount of clothing. Therapy, for me, was covered, but this can cost around $100 per session. Hormones, for me, was covered as well. This is another big expense and many may not be able to pay for it out of pocket. Lastly, isn’t it a shame that trans people have to get risky surgery just to be themself. And on top of that, 99% of the time it will not be covered by insurance. Of course, some people choose not to get the surgery, even if they had the money. But, for those that want the surgery, it is so risky and expensive, and healing time, especially for SRS, is very tough and lengthy. That is the most expensive part of transitioning. But, it’s what trans people have to endure to be themself. That’s what makes them strong.
A trans person will never be able to have children as their preferred gender identity. They can as their birth gender, but once they begin taking hormones, and especially after genital surgery, one can no longer have genetic children. Personally for me, I do not care. I do not want children and have no desire for them at all. But for those that do, there are fertility preservation options available, but this may be pointless for a straight trans person. Reason being, if you are a male to female attracted to men, both individuals produce sperm and no female reproductive component is involved, and thus no children. Of course, one could adopt, but for some individuals it’s just not the same. Who knows if there will ever an option down the road that will grant transsexual individuals the ability to have children as their preferred gender identity. Only time will tell.
Well, that’s all the negative aspects of being transgender / transsexual that I could come up with, at least from a male to female perspective. If you have any others please tell me about it in the comments since it’s always an interesting topic of discussion. Thanks for watching!